


Convergence

by FangsScalesSkin



Series: Contagious [2]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: (also mild), (in the form of being praised for something embarrassing), (it's the name-calling/verbal humiliation), (mild), (tagging as 'altered states' for all the Sweet Voice stuff), Altered States, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Aphrodisiacs, Benrey calls Gordon a freak in a fun and sexy way, Biting, Body Horror, Chapter 5 has sexy body horror and regular body horror, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Grinding, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Name-Calling, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possessive Sex, Praise Kink, Tentacle Dick, The tentacle dick shows up by chapter 4, Transformation, Under-negotiated Kink, Verbal Humiliation, Wall Sex, Workplace Sex, hole in the wall, stuckage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:42:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26649214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangsScalesSkin/pseuds/FangsScalesSkin
Summary: Gordon keeps changing, and gradually so does his relationship with Benrey.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Series: Contagious [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1938514
Comments: 118
Kudos: 429





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've decided to publish this sequel chapter by chapter as I write it. Tags will be updated as new chapters are added. Anyway, on with the fic! 
> 
> (Sweet Voice translation, rust - lust)

“What are you staring at?”

Gordon looks at him and it’s then Benrey becomes aware that he’s been studying Gordon unblinkingly for several minutes. He blinks, deliberately, and turns his face away, pulling his hat down to cover part of it.

“Nuh. Nothin’. Can’t a bro stare at his best bud without it being a big deal?” 

Gordon shrugs and turns back to making dinner for himself, humming and then stopping himself, but when Benrey turns around to watch, he can see a few stray bubbles of Sweet Voice that mean "suspicion" float away that Gordon hadn't been quick enough to pop. Benrey rolls his eyes. Gordon is so damn _twitchy_ around him.

"I just think you're hot, idiot."

"Uh. Thanks, I guess?" He's blushing - Benrey can see the back of Gordon's neck go red. Haha, score.

"You could knock it off with the insults though."

"Stop acting like I'm gonna eat you or some shit and I will."

"What? That's not even related." Gordon sounds kind of annoyed. Benrey wishes he'd get it into his giant scientist brain that Benrey doesn't actually want to harm him. Idiot. 

Benrey kind of actually has a crush on Gordon though, plus he's hot, and the more he changes into one of Benrey's own species the hotter he gets. Which is kind of unfair honestly, it makes it hard to act like he's doing anything other than gagging for Gordon's cock 24/7.

Huh, that's a good idea to stop Gordon being cranky about a stupid little tiny insult.

"Yo do you wanna fuck my mouth after dinner? Special dessert for Gordon and Benrey."

Gordon nearly spills cooked pasta all over the kitchen counter. Little clumsy boy. Klutz. 

"Y-yeah. Sounds good."

Gordon lets out a few rusty-coloured bubbles without paying attention while he's focused on putting his dinner on the plate. Haha, nice, so he is turned on by the idea. Benrey grins to himself. It is a lot lot _lot_ easier to understand Gordon with the Sweet Voice. Gordon cheat sheet.

Benrey is polite enough to wait until after dinner to get down on his knees between Gordon's legs and pull down his pants. Besides, Gordon's home cooking is miles better than the Black Mesa cafeteria food, so Benrey asks for a plate. Gordon watches in horror as Benrey sweeps the contents right into his mouth with his tongue but smiles when Benrey says "thank you". This carbonara stuff is good, Cooking Gordon did it again.

"Dessert now please and thank you?"

"Jesus, wait a minute for me to digest my food."

Benrey fidgets, and licks his plate, and then licks Gordon's plate, and then puts both in the sink. He's not good at waiting, it helps to have something to do. Besides, Gordon looks all chilled out after dinner and the dude's been so high strung lately that Benrey feels kind of sorry for him. Wants to _help_. It's like when Benrey took a human shape first and was all freaked out over getting caught and sliced up, except kind of in reverse.

"Ok, now you can go ahead." Gordon tries to sound all unaffected and casual but fails super badly. Like, there's this little hitch in his voice and a smudge of rust colour at the corner of his mouth like he's been swallowing back some Sweet Voice. It's great.

"Sweet." Benrey gets down on his knees and nuzzles at the outline of Gordon's boner in his pants. He smells so _fucking_ good, even better when he's turned on. Benrey pulls down Gordon’s pants, his mouth watering a little in anticipation.

Gordon bucks up into Benrey's hands when Benrey is taking off Gordon's boxers. He's got this hazy look in his eyes when Benrey looks up and his lips are pressed together tight but there's rusty drool leaking out anyway. Dummy's getting messed up on his own supply again. It’s fun but he looks like he’s going to nut really quickly, and Benrey wants to suck Gordon’s cock properly. He wants something in his mouth and to feel a bit like Gordon trusts him, and sucking cock is perfect for that when Gordon hasn’t accidentally got himself halfway to nutting already. Like he has right now!

"Yo, listen. You don't like me reading your emotions, yadda yadda, but I kind of want sex to last more than like one minute. Just stop swallowing the Sweet Voice."

"Huh?" 

Damn, that's a role reversal.

"I'll say it again after you blow your load."

“Alright.” Gordon curls his fingers into Benrey’s hair, not pulling yet. He will though. It’s okay, ‘cos Benrey likes it.

Benrey curls his lip in over his fangs all nice and careful and takes Gordon’s cock in his mouth. It’s heavy on his tongue, and he likes that. He shows off a little by wrapping his tongue all the way around it and then sucking until his cheeks hollow out. Gordon makes a little whimper and tugs on his hair.

Benrey takes his sweet time sucking Gordon off. If Gordon reaaaally wants to he can beg Benrey to speed up anyway. It’s super fun watching Gordon’s eyes go half lidded and his mouth hang open. Guy’s overwhelmed really easily by a good bj, extreme whelming happening right now. Makes Benrey feel good too, like - _he_ did that to Gordon. Gordon likes how Benrey makes him feel, even if he doesn’t always say it. Be nice if he did more often, but he keeps coming back for more anyway.

Speaking of coming, Gordon comes down Benrey’s throat with a short shout of _“fuck”._ Benrey swallows it all down and whines a little. That was way too soon.

Gordon pats his hair, looking half checked-out. “Thanks bud.”

Benrey pulls his mouth off Gordon’s cock to reply, leaning into the patting.

“Only the best for my best bud.” Benrey tries to give his very best puppy dog eyes. Fuck Gordon for calling that ‘unnerving’ last time he did. Benrey is totally cute and Gordon knows it. “Can I keep going please? Get you, get you hard again. Wanna suck you off some more.”

“Jesus, you’re really that hungry for my cock, huh?” Gordon smirks and pats Benrey’s head. He’s got enough brainpower back again to act smug, lol. “Don’t know if I can go again so soon though.”

“Totes can. Got uhhhh, enhanced regen. Like, sexy regen. Don’t got the other kind yet but betcha I can get you back hard in a minute.”

“Huh. That’s a thing? Guess we can see if I’m… That far along yet.” Gordon looks a tiny bit uncomfortable for a second, and yeah, Benrey gets it, Gordon is having an ongoing existential crisis about becoming an ‘alien’ or whatever, but c’mon, now’s not the time. What it’s time for is Benrey sucking Gordon’s dick again.

So he does.

Gordon makes a whining noise when Benrey starts lapping at his cock. He’s pushing and pulling at Benrey’s head randomly like he can’t decide whether it’s too much or not.

“Oh fuck. I’m k-kinda. Uh - overstimulated right now, bud.”

Benrey stops moving.

“I didn’t say _stop_.” Gordon looks kind of pissy, and he tugs on Benrey’s hair.

Haha, got em. Benrey goes back to it, closing his eyes to focus on how it feels, letting Gordon guide him. He sorta pulls Gordon’s leg in between his own thighs so he can grind against it at the same time. He smirks a little around the cock in his mouth when he feels it start plumping up again. Benrey _told_ him. Man but it’s good when his mouth is full again. Benrey bobs his head, letting Gordon pull on his hair and push on the back of his head to start fucking Benrey’s mouth. 

Gordon gets that goofy look back on his face. He has one eye more open than the other, and his eyes are sorta crossed. If Benrey didn’t have a mouth full of cock he’d laugh at the expression. Bet meditation can’t beat this for stress relief, huh Gordo?

Benrey drools and ruts against Gordon’s leg as Gordon picks up the pace and fucks his mouth faster. He’s probably making some sort of stupid face himself but fuck, he can’t help it. Feels good. Especially feels good when he hears Gordon moan and looks to see him mouth open, tongue hanging out, fucking drooling, and not caring one bit. It’s so hot seeing him be a mess and not care. 

How messy would Gordon let himself get, anyway? Benrey should test that out sometime. Do a little science of his own. Experiment: get hot nerd to be a horny mess.

He’s so distracted by his clever idea and by sliding his tongue around Gordon’s cock that the loud, broken moan Gordon lets out doesn’t mean anything to him except for how it makes Benrey’s dick throb in his pants. Benrey’s caught a little off guard by Gordon coming in his mouth again, and kind of fails to swallow properly. Some dribbles out the side of his mouth. Now _he’s_ the messy boy. Gordon lasted long enough to let Benrey really get into it, though, so he doesn’t mind.

Benrey lets Gordon’s dick slide out of his mouth and lays his head on Gordon’s thigh. Gordon’s got a soft smile and look in his eyes and strokes Benrey’s hair and it makes Benrey’s heart do what feels like a funny flip. Freeman got that post-nut fondness. Benrey could probably rut his way to completion just looking at that expression.

“Get up here.” It’s soft, but might as well be a barked-out command for how quick Benrey moves. He scrambles up to sit on Gordon’s thighs.

“Yo. Hey. ‘Sup?” Benrey feels his face heat up a bit when Gordon strokes his back.

“Showing a bit of appreciation after you made me come hard twice in a row. I almost saw stars.” Gordon pulls down Benrey’s fly and gets a hand in his boxers.

“Y-yeah that’s me. The nutmaster.”

Gordon laughs, shakes his head. “Just stop talking. Please. Don’t make me regret it.”

Benrey clamps his mouth shut, and whines when Gordon licks a hand and wraps it around Benrey’s dick. His hand is really soft. Nerdy guy hand. Feels great on his dick. The other hand is still stroking Benrey’s back and Benrey has to bury his face in Gordon’s shoulder, looking at him is too much when he’s treating Benrey nice like this.

After all he said about coming too soon, this time it’s Benrey who doesn’t last. He pants and moans into Gordon’s shoulder as Gordon strokes him firmly, and comes all over his hand without any big fanfare. Gordon strokes him through it until he’s all done. It’s a good one, and he doesn’t want to move after. Benrey lays against Gordon and breathes deep, taking in the scent of him and the warmth, feeling impossibly cosy.

Gordon picks him up (nerd strong! Hot strong nerd!) and carries him to the couch. Benrey stretches out in Gordon’s lap and lets him use a tissue to clean them both off. The way he wipes Benrey’s mouth and chin is soft, might even be called tender. Benrey lays there struck silent. Almost silent - he lets out a low, sleepy aaaaaaaaah, accompanied by pinky purple Sweet Voice. It’s all quiet and comfortable after that until Gordon speaks up.

“What’s that one mean? I don’t think I’ve made that colour myself.”

“Nnn. Not telling.”

“Fine.” He’s frowning. Noooo. Benrey’s not ready to think about the colours, but he didn’t want Gordon to be mad. “I swear, every time I think I have a read on you, you act all cagey.”

“Tell you another time.” 

“All right then, keep your secrets.”

“Fuckin’ nerd… Frodo Baggins ass nerd.” Benrey turns his face towards the couch cushions. He still feels good, but not as good as a couple of seconds before. "Oh yeah. Was saying earlier, don't want to keep wreckin' yourself then you gotta stop swallowing the Sweet Voice. Let it out."

"You literally just told me you're not explaining the colours you spat out, you weird little hypocrite." Gordon sounds frustrated, picks up the remote and turns on the tv, but doesn’t dislodge Benrey at least.

\--

Benrey is kind of frustrating to deal with. He talks crap constantly, and then when Gordon has a question he won't answer half the time.

That's the kind of frustration Gordon doesn't need while he's having a personal crisis in slow motion, vacillating back and forth between trying to accept his new condition and freaking the fuck out about it. For some reason Gordon can't stay away from him though. Might be just that Gordon's been pretty horny lately, but still.

They're kind of hanging out a bit too. Like now, watching tv while Benrey naps or sulks (it's hard to tell) in his lap. It makes Gordon feel better and worse at the same time.

Looking at Benrey reminds him that he's a freak now too. Benrey accepting it without question makes him feel slightly better about it. It's confusing and tiring.

Right now Gordon is on the chill end of the spectrum, after getting off twice in a row. Endorphins, powerful stuff. He knows he won't stay like that though.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon learns to noclip and almost immediately gets stuck in a wall. What happens next may surprise you. (It's consensual stuckage/hole in the wall sex.)

Gordon is flipping the fuck out. 

He accidentally stuck his hand through the fridge door. _Through the fridge door._ Alright, he pulled it back out again but that's not something hands are supposed to do!

He has to go to work! He doesn't have time for this shit. He reaches for the fridge door and thinks really hard about grabbing the handle, and thank god it works.

Gordon does breathing exercises over his morning cereal. That brings him down to acceptable levels of freak out to eat something and then run for the tram to work without having some sort of breakdown.

He does box breathing on the tram journey and counts his breath to avoid imagining what would happen if he fell right through the tram to the tracks below. He's never been so relieved to arrive at work than when the tram pulls in at his sector. Walking to his office he grumbles to himself that Benrey has some fucking explaining to do. _Again._

He furiously texts Benrey to come to his office. Then after realising how Benrey might read it adds "this isn't a sex thing, it's a freaky alien powers thing".

All he gets back in reply is "lol ok".

Gordon _tries_ to get on with work but he's a bit preoccupied with imagining how badly he could fuck up if his hands and probably the rest of him can pass right through things now like Casper the friendly ghost but shittier. He ends up missing half the keys on his keyboard from his fingers phasing right through them. 

"Oh hay." Gordon jumps in place when he hears Benrey behind him despite no door being opened. 

"Can you not do that?! I'm a bit on edge."

"Fiiiiine. Don't gotta be so grumpy. Your best friend Benrey is here to help." Benrey is pouting, and Gordon tries not to roll his eyes. 

"Thank you, I guess." That's enough to stop Benrey making frowny faces - for an alien he's really hung up on manners for some reason, even when frightening the crap out of Gordon either intentionally or otherwise.

Gordon doesn't add it's kind of partly Benrey's fault in the first place, that wouldn't go over well. It basically goes without saying, anyway.

"So, whassup?"

"My hand went right through the fridge door this morning and I spent the whole way to work worried I was going to fall right through shit and get stuck or die."

Benrey cackles at that until Gordon shoots him a murderous look.

"What's with your face, man, it was pretty funny. Anyhow, noclipping. Pretty sweet tbh. It's a thing, that you can do now I guess? Didn't know when that'd happen. Skill tree level up."

"God, why do I even… I have a question actually. Do they _call_ it no clipping where you're from?"

"Nah. No video games there, bro. Totally cringe."

"Ooookay." That raises more questions about Benrey, but not any _useful_ ones. "The no clipping or whatever, I can control it, right?"

Benrey nods. "'S an easy one. Want it to happen when you touch the thing? Imagine it happening when you touch the thing. Don't want it to, then don't. Totally noob level."

Benrey demonstrates by waving a hand right through Gordon. It doesn't feel like anything but the sight of a hand going through him is still kind of nauseating.

"Now you try."

Wave his hand about in Benrey's chest? Honestly it would kind of serve him right for turning Gordon's life into a parade of bizarre bullshit if Gordon messed it up and smacked him instead. Gordon's hand thunks against Benrey's armoured vest. 

"Uhhh little Freeman need his ears checked? I said imagine not doing that. Imagine the opposite of that. Thanks."

Right. Imagine it going through. Gordon concentrates on that, goes to stick his hand in Benrey's chest and watches in a mix of amazement and horror as it goes right through. It doesn't even feel like there's anything there. He snatches his hand back before his brain latches on to wondering what would happen if he imagined his hand being solid. Would Benrey's insides get messed up, or explode, or Gordon's hand get crushed or stuck, or something else so horrible he hadn't even considered it?

"Earth to Gordon??" Benrey is waving a hand in front of Gordon's face, and Gordon bats it aside. Benrey is staring at him, and blows out a few bubbles of a colour Gordon recognises as worry, because he's made it plenty of times himself. "Whatever you're thinking about, stop."

"Easy for you to say, Benrey! You're not dealing with life changing bullshit on the daily." Gordon bares his teeth both to show frustration and to make his point.

"Whuh? Oh. Yeah." Benrey taps his fingers on his helmet, making little metallic noises. "Lemme try something for my best bro."

"You know what? I doubt you can make today worse. Go ahead."

Benrey reaches out and grabs Gordon's face, and Gordon tries to jerk back in shock. He's held in place while Benrey gets up close. It's a relief when all Benrey does is kiss him lightly on the lips. To be fair, it does distract him from spiralling. 

"Howzat?"

"A little more warning next time? We're in work, man. You can do it again though."

"Sweet."

Benrey leans in, kissing him more firmly, swiping a tongue across Gordon's lips. Gordon lets him in, and they make out slowly, Gordon's shoulders lowering gradually as stress bleeds out of him. The kiss starts tasting increasingly of synthetic blue raspberry flavour the longer it goes on. Blue Sweet Voice. Of course.

Gordon pulls away when he starts feeling mildly sedated, and from the sleepy way Benrey blinks at him, he's feeling it as strongly if not moreso. Shame Gordon still has half a workday left so he can't let himself melt into a puddle of relaxation.

"Hey, that actually worked. Thanks Benrey." Gordon ruffles Benrey's hair to show appreciation. Gordon likes a bit of physical contact - good for social bonding, right - but some people don't. Not Benrey though. Benrey soaks it up like a mutant sponge.

"M a great cool," Benrey mumbles, and leans in like a cat to the touch. It's actually almost cute. "W'na, uh, hang out later? Gotta make sure you don't get all stressed out again..."

Gordon does a little mental check-in with himself. How's he feeling about that idea? Pretty okay, actually. Might be because he's artificially calm right now, but eh, whatever. If he gets stressed out by evening time he can get Benrey to make him chill out again.

"Yeah, why not."

"Pog." Benrey nods. He still looks half asleep. That's at least one quarter more asleep than he usually looks.

"Gotta get back to work now though, I am way behind. See you later." Gordon pulls his hand away, mildly disappointed to no longer be touching Benrey's surprisingly soft hair.

"Later, gamer," Benrey says, and shuffles out the door. Gordon turns back to his PC. Time to get a full day of work done in the half of his work day remaining. Oh joy.

-

Gordon can't text Benrey to hurry up and come over already because his phone is in his back pocket and his back pocket is on THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL.

The other side of the wall he's _currently stuck halfway through._

Gordon kicks his feet and curses. Oh, he SHOULD be able to get himself out of this. He knows _how._ But he can't stop thinking about what if he's stuck in the stupid wall between his living room and kitchen forever. Major drawback of catastrophising! Tripping over and getting stuck in your wall and then stuck thinking about being stuck in your wall! Not being able to stop thinking of how you can't escape a stupid _fucking_ WALL.

He doesn't even want to think what's up with his stomach situation. It's right there where the wall should be. Theoretically speaking it would be interesting to consider what is happening with the wall's matter and his own matter occupying the same space simultaneously. Realistically speaking Gordon wants to cry.

"Yo FEETMAN. Nice ass, why'd you decide to mount it halfway up the wall?" 

“Because I’m fucking stuck halfway through the wall, asshole!!” Gordon is too stressed for this bullshit. If he wasn’t, he might have laughed. He probably does look like a hunting trophy right now.

“Omfg.” Benrey spells the words out, o-m-f-g. Gordon has the sudden urge to strangle him. “How do you even do that.” 

“Maybe because I’m FREAKING OUT TOO HARD to get out of here. A little help maybe?!”

“One sec.” Gordon hears footsteps approaching, and turns his head to see Benrey walk in through the kitchen doorway. “Nice kitchen.”

“Uh huh. Going to pull me out now?”

“I dunno, bro. If I did you wouldn’t learn anything. End up doing the same thing every night, all Pinky and the Brain.” Benrey squats so his face is at Gordon’s level and spits blue Sweet Voice at him before Gordon can scream to get him out right that fucking second. Gordon glares at him because he doesn’t like having that shit spat in his face, _Benrey_. Doesn’t stop the Sweet Voice from working, though, so at least Gordon no longer feels like his heart is going to explode. Instead he feels incredibly tired.

“You’re like, really high strung. That’s bad for people.” 

Gordon tries to convey the sheer depths of tiredness he’s feeling through nothing but his face and the two hands he holds up flipping Benrey the bird.

“Bet your stupid genius brain is all fucked up thinking too hard again. Gotta be chill before you can get out of there.” Benrey nods decisively and stands up. “So you got two options. I can either dose you up on Sweet Voice, or…” 

“Or…?” 

“I could go around the other side of the wall and fuck the thoughts right outta ya.” 

Gordon outright splutters, momentarily devoid of words while his brain searches for the perfect way to express complete and utter incredulity. He comes up short and barks out an insult instead. 

“Are you seriously an idiot? Do you, do you ever actually think before you talk? Do I LOOK like I’m in the mood?” Gordon gestures to himself, then to the wall, then back to himself.

“It’d be fun, bro. If you really don’t wanna we can do things the _boring_ way, it’s up to you. Think about it,” Benrey shrugs, and waits for Gordon to answer.

Gordon, god help him, really does think about it. Then he keeps thinking about it. He’d be near totally at Benrey’s mercy to set the pace, and utterly vulnerable. Benrey could do anything he wants. As embarrassing it is to admit that, it’s kind of a turn on. Relying on Benrey for any stimulation he’s going to get, his ass being pounded while his front half hangs helplessly right here.

Okay, that’s actually hot. And, yes, it’s been a few days since they’ve fucked. Somehow that now counts as ‘too long’ according to Gordon’s dick, which has taken enough interest in this to veto any votes by more sensible body parts like his brain.

“Alright, I will _begrudgingly_ admit that’s a hot idea. But you better not skimp on the fucking foreplay or I will be so mad when I get out of here.”

“Dude, are you sure? If you don’t wanna it’s fine. Don’t gotta impress Benny boy here.”

“Yes, I’m sure!” 

“Are you reeeeeeeally sure?” 

What’s with the reversal all of a sudden? Yeah, checking for consent is good but that’s overdoing things a little. Is Benrey trying to be a dick about it? It only makes Gordon want to do it more because fuck it, he made up his mind. Gordon slaps the wall with his palm.

“Benrey I swear to god you had _better_ get back there and fuck me right this minute. And don’t you dare tease me, it was your goddamn idea.” Gordon has even said he wants it _aloud_ , which if Benrey was any less thirsty would make Gordon want to die inside. But it’s cool, it’s fine, Benrey is a thirsty little gremlin who will never ever have a leg to stand on when it comes to teasing Gordon about being needy.

Benrey listens to Gordon order him about and then laughs in that horribly infectious way of his.

“Whatever you say, boss man. Uh, signals, slap on the wall twice in a row to slow down, three to stop. Scream my name for the all clear.”

“Yeah, yeah, got it. Can we get on with this? I’ve been hanging halfway up the wall for twenty minutes already. I bet it’s hell for my posture.”

“Daaamn, old bones over here. If I don’t move fast enough you’re gonna crumble to dust before I can fuck ya.” Benrey blows a kiss and walks effortlessly right through the wall dividing the kitchen and the living room. What a fucking show-off.

There’s about ten seconds before Gordon properly realises that this is fucking happening, Benrey’s going to be all over Gordon’s business on the other side of the wall. Gordon tenses up, bracing his feet on the ground as best he can. He rests his hands on the wall and breathes in and out and waits for Benrey to touch him, growing harder the more his anticipation ratchets up. What’s Benrey going to do first…?

Gordon jolts in place when he feels hands close in on his waist, then feels slightly silly. That’s not even sexual really. Just Benrey’s hands, resting there.

Benrey’s hands slide slowly down from Gordon’s waist to his ass. Another few seconds of resting there, and then Benrey starts to massage and grope his ass cheeks. The lack of a visual or a clue of what Benrey’s about to do before he does it makes it feel electric. Usually Gordon can see Benrey get some smug look, and he’ll know what’s coming. This is all guess work.

Gordon’s trousers are still on, and he wants them off. He’s too stubborn to call out from the kitchen to tell Benrey that, though. The warmth of Benrey’s hands is leeching through his trousers, and the circular rubbing motions and massaging that Benrey’s thumbs are doing would be incredible against bare skin. It’s amazing how simple touches can take up this much of his focus. Yeah, Gordon’s cock is pretty hard too, but he said he wanted foreplay and he’s going to enjoy getting it. 

The warm, firm touches travel down to his thighs, solid but gentle strokes against the sore muscles he’s been bracing awkwardly to keep his feet flat on the ground. His legs quiver a bit, he can’t help it. 

The hands vanish, and Gordon barely keeps from letting out a whine. What gives?

Ah. The hands - Benrey’s hands, he reminds himself - are unbuttoning his trousers, pulling them and his underwear down, down, down over his ass, down farther, all the way down to pool around his ankles. Welp. Gordon is ass-out on the other side of the wall now. He’s stuck there for Benrey to touch and play with as much as he wants, and Gordon can’t do anything about it. He’s just glad Benrey can’t see how furiously red his face must be right now.

 _Especially_ when one hand rests on each of Gordon’s ass cheeks and draws them apart to expose his hole. He’s fully on display now. There’s a second or two when nothing else happens, then a warm, slimy liquid drips down to roll down where Benrey has his ass drawn apart. For some reason the warmth is the bit that makes Gordon clench. Maybe he’s been used to lube out of a package for so long that Benrey’s slippery drool doesn’t feel normal. He’s taken back out of his thoughts by more massaging touches to his ass. 

It doesn’t stop him jumping a bit in place (as much as he can while stuck on two sides of a wall, which isn’t much) when a finger brushes his asshole. Ok Gordon, you’ve done this before. Breathe. Open up. Let him in.

A blunt-nailed finger strokes and works bit by bit deeper into his ass, and Gordon squirms and braces his hands against his side of the wall. It always feels both weird and incredible. Not being able to see makes Gordon all the more sensitive, too. He’s being reduced to trying to make predictions. Unable to direct Benrey, he has to trust that Benrey knows well enough what makes him tick. So far Benrey’s almost eerily good at it. Knowing the speed to take things at, how to stretch Gordon so Gordon whimpers only from need and not from pain. Gordon absently wonders if Benrey has been memorising things about him.

He’s reaching the point where he’s more flattered than unnerved by that. It helps tip him over to "flattered" when Benrey follows one finger with the next until he’s smoothly finger-fucking Gordon and leaving him unable to do anything except whine. Gordon digs his nails into the wall, scratching the crappy paint job. Well, whatever. Benrey just curled his fingers to massage Gordon’s prostate, so the paint job can go fuck itself for all he cares.

Gordon’s wondering if he’s even on the cusp of coming like that when Benrey pulls his fingers out. He hears himself curse. 

Benrey rubs his cock between Gordon's ass cheeks and then starts pressing into Gordon's hole. Benrey fills him up inch by inch, taking his time, until he's all the way in and the stretch of Benrey's cock inside him has Gordon scratching the wall again. Gordon is silently praying that Benrey isn't going to start slow and draw this out, he couldn't deal with that today. Benrey's hands close on his waist again, nails digging in, and Gordon shivers.

"You ready for this, bro?" Remember your signals," Benrey calls out.

"Benrey! Just, get the fuck on with it."

"Not really what I mean by screaming my name, but eh, it'll do."

That's all the preamble Benrey gives before he starts _pounding_ Gordon's ass. The pace is downright punishing but it's what Gordon needs. He only wishes he could move to rock in time with Benrey's thrusts. All he can do is brace himself and take it, his thoughts filling up more and more with Benrey fucking him the longer it goes on and leaving room for nothing else.

Just when he's feeling like he could get off from that alone, Benrey draws back and thrusts in and… Stops. Gordon feels Benrey's hips twitch where they're pressed against his ass, and he clenches down around Benrey's cock as hot cum fills his hole. No, Benrey can't be done already. He _can't._

"Haha whoops. Got a, a lil too excited there," Benrey calls out to him, sounding short of breath. 

Benrey pulls out and Gordon whines. Too soon too soon too soon.

"Not gonna leave you hanging. Not mean like that." Gordon dazedly wonders what he means. Then, oh. Benrey's got his fingers up Gordon's ass again, massaging him inside. Gordon thinks of Benrey's fingers spreading his cum around inside Gordon, some dripping out messily with the in-out motion of his fingers, and he moans low at how debauched an image he must make.

Benrey gets a firm hand around Gordon's cock, thumbing the slit where he's leaking pre, and then starts pumping him steadily while he fingerfucks Gordon with his other hand. 

"Benreyyy. Benrey. Hhhhoh fuck." Benrey keeps rubbing at Gordon's p-spot with his fingers while he jerks Gordon off, and that's how he comes, cock spilling over Benrey's hand, twitching and gasping, hanging halfway through a wall, unable to do anything but buck in Benrey's grasp as Benrey keeps drawing Gordon's orgasm out until he runs totally dry and starts whimpering from overstimulation.

Gordon kicks out a leg and flails a bit and remembers to thump his hand three times against the wall. It's too much. Benrey stops immediately and Gordon makes a noise of relief.

"Woooow, look at you. You're all like a deflated balloon after that, aren't ya?"

Gordon raises his head to look at Benrey standing in front of him. Did Gordon get fucked so hard that doesn't make sense, or was Benrey not making any sense? He doesn't have enough spare brainpower to puzzle through that one. He wrinkles his nose at Benrey licking Gordon's cum off his hand.

"Help?" Gordon points a thumb back at the wall.

"Take my hands, bro. Gonna get all gay with ya." Gordon almost snarks that it would be hard to get any gayer than Benrey's cum leaking out of his ass, but that would be wasting what precious energy he has left. He grabs Benrey's hands.

"I'm gonna pull and you just think about passing right through that shit. Walls? Never heard of 'em."

Gordon snorts, but he's tired and his thoughts are running slow, still feeling fuzzy-headed after getting off, so it's easy to do what Benrey says. He thinks of having an open plan kitchen-living room combo. No wall here. Benrey tugs on his arms. He falls forward on top of Benrey and then lets himself collapse right there, uncaring of the fact that he's essentially pinning Benrey in place.

"I'm going to lie here now. Thanks," he mumbles.

"Can't sleep on the floor, Gordo. Lemme get you all tucked in and snuggly in bed."

Gordon's so exhausted and relieved he doesn't protest when Benrey rolls him off onto the floor and picks him up in a fireman's hold. He gives a thought to what a mess they both are but can't bring himself to care enough to protest about the bedsheets. He'll wash them tomorrow… Probably.

Benrey goes to leave after getting Gordon into bed - why? - and Gordon grabs him before he can. He usually stays to cuddle, why try to leave now? Gordon can’t articulate enough for a deep conversation so he tugs on Benrey’s arm instead.

"Before you say anything. Shut up. I'm tired. Get in here and spoon me, Benrey."

Benrey laughs more softly than usual, and it's actually a pleasant sound. He slips into bed and pulls the covers up again, this time over both of them. Gordon barely has time to enjoy the warmth of Benrey pressed against his back before he passes out, slipping into a sleep too deep to notice Benrey stroking his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this chapter, please comment to let me know! Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick note that I've edited Contagious slightly to be more in line with this fic because I decided to make this a "no rescas" AU, so Gordon wouldn't already know the Science Team or the things he otherwise finds out about Benrey.
> 
> Thanks to my beta readers for looking over this chapter and to the discord for encouraging me in writing it!

"Yo, wanna go visit Tommy for a gaming sesh at the weekend?" Benrey is sitting on the kitchen counter, swinging his legs and kicking the drawers for the ware with his heels while Gordon makes dinner. He's started letting himself into Gordon's apartment and an increasing portion of Gordon's daily life since being invited over a few times. Like some sort of vampire, except all he sucks is Gordon's dick sometimes.

"Tommy?"

"Yeah, Tommy. You do know Tommy right? Tall guy, he's cool. Works in Black Mesa in the rockets department or something."

"I might have seen him around. A lot of people work in Black Mesa, Benrey."

"You don't even know Tommy, I can't believe this." Benrey shakes his head. "Okay, you gotta come over now."

"Any reason for that aside from wanting a Player 3?" Gordon sets down the carrot he's been peeling to move on to the next vegetable, raising an eyebrow at Benrey.

"You keep being like 'oh no I'm a big freak my life is over, who's gonna want to hang out with Gordon now, I'm a lonely scientist man with no friends and all my colleagues probably want to dissect me' and it's pretty sad," Benrey says, putting on a really bad imitation of Gordon’s voice as he does. Gordon is gearing up to argue with Benrey about that description of him, when Benrey puts a finger to his lips and shushes him. Gordon has half a mind to bite it, but that would be childish, which he is _not._ "I'm being cool and nice and inviting you to come hang out with my good friend Tommy so you stop acting like everything is ruined foreverrrr."

Gordon grabs Benrey's hand and pulls it away from his face. "I do _not_ sound like that. But, uh, I guess it can't hurt, so… Sure, bud. So long as it's safe to." Gordon doesn't mention the dissection comment but he's thinking of it.

"Tommy's cool, you'll see."

-

The first thing Gordon sees when the two of them drop by Tommy's place is that the guy is apparently pretty rich. At least based on the size of his house.

Tommy greets Gordon at the door with a handshake, and Benrey goes in for a fistbump which Tommy returns with a smile. He does actually look kind of familiar. Gordon must have seen him around a few times but never really spoke to him, at least not in depth. He appreciates that Tommy doesn't question the facemask Gordon decided to wear to hide the state of his teeth. 

He shows them to the living room and gets them set up with soda and snacks, explaining that his dog Sunkist - weird name for a dog - is in the back garden but he might let him in later if neither of them mind. Gordon nods along politely.

"So, video games or boardgames?" Tommy rocks back on his heels and looks at the both of them expectantly.

"More like boring games," Benrey drawls. Tommy frowns at him.

"That's not very polite, Benrey!"

"Sorry Tommy." Benrey looks down at his feet. "If you wanna play boardgames that's fine, I guess."

Wait, that actually worked? Damn, okay, Gordon likes Tommy a bit more already. He asks to check out Tommy's boardgame collection just to be contrary, and ignores the betrayed look Benrey levels at him.

He takes his time to peruse the shelves, partly to wind Benrey up. Turnabout is fair play, after all. It's an impressive collection. He'd enjoy getting really stuck into a game of Catan or Betrayal at House on the Hill, but Benrey would probably be terrible to play a longer drawn-out game with, based on his earlier statement, and Gordon isn't actively _trying_ to have a bad time. He picks out Fluxx and magnanimously offers to play Marvel vs Capcom 3 after a few rounds. Tommy gives him a thumbs up and even Benrey doesn't grumble.

They're all sitting on the extremely comfortable seats around Tommy's incredibly shiny coffee table, cards in hand, when Tommy interrupts the game to speak up.

"You can take off your facemask, Mr. Freeman. I'm sure it's a bit, um, uncomfortable to wear for so long."

"I'm alright, but thanks."

"I _told_ you, Tommy's cool." Benrey blows out a blue bubble. Not at Gordon, but meaningfully. Telling him to relax.

Tommy doesn't bat an eyelid at the blue orb that hangs in the air for a few moments before dissolving. Instead he nods.

"Y-yes, you're among friends."

If Gordon is getting the implication here… It's safe to show that he's kind of sort of not human?

"I, I think I will, actually." Gordon unhooks the mask from around his ears and takes it off, gratefully inhaling some air not already warmed by his own breath. Gordon waits for some sort of exclamation of surprise but none is forthcoming.

Benrey grins at him, mouthing an "I told you so" before going back to his cards.

When Tommy's next round comes along he does look at Gordon curiously, however.

"I never knew you were an, ah, alien, Mr. Freeman? It's nice for Benrey to have one of his own species around."

Gordon splutters, caught off guard by how completely casual the comment is.

"I, uh, well. Uh. I wasn't always." Gordon shrugs, and ignores Benrey's loud cackle in the background.

Tommy tilts his head curiously. 

"There was aaa…" Gordon lets out a sharp yellow-green stream of Sweet Voice before he can stop it. God, what does he say? "An incident."

"An acidic mess means that he's stressed…" Tommy taps his fingers against the coffee table surface. "No need to answer if you're uncomfortable. I wouldn't be a very good host if I upset you on a f-first visit!"

"Thanks." Gordon takes a sip of the soda he'd been offered earlier in the hopes of the sugar content perking him up. "Say, Tommy. You know what the Sweet Voice means?"

"Me 'n Tommy go waaaay back," Benrey says.

"Yep! We do! Back to when Benrey only just showed up here. I helped him get the hang of looking human." 

Tommy says it like it’s completely self-explanatory when it’s really not. Gordon's head is spinning so much he ends up playing his cards all in the wrong order and losing the game. Aw, shoot. He has a pretty important question though.

"How come you're so casual about this stuff? When I first found out it blew my mind." Gordon flips Benrey the bird when Benrey mutters "not the only thing that blew his mind". Tommy has the audacity to _giggle._

"I'm not human either, Mr. Freeman! Good to know I had you fooled." Tommy is smiling mildly. Gordon's brain is melting.

"But you look human?"

"I'm n-not. Or at least, only half, maybe? Enough not-human to sympathise with your caution earlier, anyhow!" Tommy blinks slowly, and when he opens his eyes again the irises are a bright golden colour. "See? Before you ask, I'm a different kind to you and Benrey."

This is too much. Gordon's head is hurting.

"I think I might need to lie down on the floor." He's only being a little overdramatic but fuck it, he deserves it. He just found out all at once that there's a third form of intelligent life in the universe _and_ alien-human hybrids.

"Oh dear. Um. Do you want to go out in the garden and cuddle Sunkist instead? That always makes me feel better."

"I'd like that." A huge, well-behaved golden retriever sounds nice to hug right about now.

"You good, man?" Benrey asks while they're relocating to the garden, patting Gordon on the shoulder.

"I think so. Just need some time."

"Cool. Tommy's a bro, we can hang out the rest of the day. No need to go getting too serious about the whole 'alien' thing. Can fry your brain some more another time."

"Thanks, Benrey." That's… Genuinely thoughtful and considerate of him. Gordon feels a surprising surge of fondness at the realisation. Then Benrey goes and ruins it by grinning at him in the most obnoxious way.

"Besides, I still gotta mop the floor with you in Marvel vs Capcom."

"You wish."

-

Mission “introduce Gordon to Tommy” was a resounding success. Not only did they get along, but Benrey is pretty sure Gordon has relaxed a bit in the days since then. Man needed another friend, Benrey was right. Gordon is such a lonely guy that it’s embarrassingly obvious even to Benrey, and Benrey learned how humans socialise from a combination of Twitch chat and lessons from Tommy.

Gordon and Tommy exchanged phone numbers at the end of the day, which would have Benrey jealous about Tommy going and stealing Gordon away, but Tommy is a Good Friend who wouldn’t do that. Gordon probably wanted another person to freak out about ‘scary alien stuff’ to anyway.

Benrey lies back on the bed in his crappy Black Mesa onsite dorm room and hugs his pillow. He’s getting somewhere with Gordon, it feels like. Somewhere other than his pants, anyhow. Not that Benrey is ever gonna complain about getting in Gordon’s pants. 

Benrey hums and sings out some pink-purple Sweet Voice, evidence of his big embarrassing crush, and imagines getting to do sappy gay shit with Gordon as well as all the sexy gay shit they do already.

Maybe he can wrangle getting to stay over with Gordon again soon? Benrey was afraid to chance his luck after the whole “stuck in the wall” fiasco but Gordon surprised him by getting pretty cuddly. Gordon probably won’t mind more cuddles with his smartest and most sexy best friend Benrey.

-

Gordon blinks awake at the sound of his alarm. The room is a fuzz of dark indistinct shapes with the blinds drawn. He goes to reach for his alarm clock. His arm won't move. It's pinned to his side. 

He tries again but it's like three iron bands have been wrapped around his chest. But they're hairy, like a spider restraining him. Only his legs are free. He kicks around and makes a noise of distress. There's a movement next to him, and he whips his head around.

It's too dark to see anything other than the low gleam of light reflected on a pair of eyes.

"Wha? 'S morning already?"

Ah. That's… Benrey. That's Benrey. Right. Benrey stayed over. After they had sex last night.

"Let me get my alarm!" 

Benrey grumbles but lets Gordon up. Gordon slaps his hand on the alarm clock, turning it off, switches the bedside lamp on, and grabs his glasses out of habit. His grumpy morning brain catches up to a detail that he'd forgotten in his relief. He turns around to look at Benrey.

"Why do you have SIX ARMS?"

“Haha, why do YOU have two?”

“I’m SUPPOSED to have two! When you were going to tell me you fucking _shapeshift_ , Benrey?!” 

He can’t deal with this so early in the morning. He just can’t. He gets out of bed and starts getting dressed, because no matter the number of arms Benrey has, Gordon has work. If the rapid spike of his cortisol levels doesn’t finish him off first, that is!

“Just wanted extra arms for huggin’, man. All the better to cuddle you with.”

What does it say that half of him is so completely desensitised to weird bullshit that he’s able to ignore the many limbed horror in his bed to get ready for work? Well. It is also Benrey. Who he’s relatively certain isn’t going to string him up like a giant spider and suck out his insides. No matter how much his hindbrain is screaming that Benrey can and _WILL_ murder him if he turns his back.

He doesn’t have any evidence for that at all, but look, instincts are hard to overcome. Gordon scared. Too early in the day for weird shit.

“Don’t do that shit. Do _not_ do that shit.”

“Awww but,” Benrey starts to whine.

“But nothing. I can’t deal with this right now. I have to get ready for work.” Gordon deliberately looks away from whatever woebegone expression Benrey is trying to catch him with, and leaves to go to the bathroom. “Just leave. You can let yourself out.”

By the time Gordon is having his breakfast Benrey has already left. Which is unfortunate, because Gordon is thinking he might have overreacted a little bit. Sure, he was scared, but Benrey didn’t do anything to hurt him or even try to. He could have warned Gordon about what he was doing, though, so it’s not _Gordon’s fault_ that Gordon reacted badly. He does feel bad that he pretty much threw Benrey out, but he’ll sort it out later.

-

Gordon expects Benrey to show up at his office at some random point of the day to bother him. They’ll talk about it then. Benrey doesn’t show his face the entire day long. He doesn’t text Gordon either, which is unusual. Generally Gordon can’t go two hours without getting at least an incomprehensible deep-fried meme from Benrey.

He’ll probably show up at Gordon’s apartment around dinner time. He usually hoovers up a portion of anything Gordon cooks whether Gordon invites him to have some or not.

He doesn’t show up at dinner, or later. 

This goes on a few more days. At first Gordon doesn’t think much of it - Benrey probably got a new game and got sucked into playing - but a palpable feeling of absence starts creeping in when he’s at home by himself the fourth night in a row. Wow, Gordon really has no social life, huh. Especially if he’s missing his alien coworker.

He keeps thinking Benrey is going to gatecrash his life again any moment, and keeps being proven wrong. Should he text him? It’s pretty strange, maybe something happened. Nah, it’s probably fine. Yes, Gordon was a dick to him, but that’s never stopped Benrey showing back up like a bad penny before. He’s almost come to rely on that.

On the sixth day, Gordon is exactly the mixture of pent up and starved for company needed for him to text Benrey to ask if he wants to hook up at Gordon’s place. 

He’s relieved to get a reply but disappointed when he sees what it says.

_not rlly feelin it 2day sry_

That’s weird. At least Benrey texted him back, but there’s never been a time Gordon can remember when Benrey wasn’t ready to hop on his dick at the slightest excuse.

Gordon texts back with a _some other time then_ but the thing is, he’s still pretty pent up. It would be better if Benrey was there but Gordon’s hands are the next best thing, plus a bottle of lube. 

His thoughts are still on Benrey, anyway, and he finds himself remembering the previous time Benrey fingered him after filling his ass up with cum. Gordon's cock takes a distinct interest in the memory, he's half hard already, so Gordon decides tonight he's going to be fingering himself. He lies back on his bed, wriggles out of his underwear. Squeezing a generous amount of lube on his fingers, Gordon starts working himself open.

For some reason he keeps coming back around to Benrey spreading his cum around inside Gordon's ass. Like he was making sure to coat every last bit of Gordon's insides. Gordon takes a deep breath at that idea. Is it that he was marking Gordon? Claiming him? ...Changing him? The last option is way hotter than it should be.

He was and still is afraid of what's going to happen to him next, and now even more of what he'll be in the end of it all, after discovering Benrey can grow entire new limbs. But right now he's getting off on it too. Gordon has two fingers up his ass and his other hand on his cock and he can't stop thinking about Benrey fucking him, changing Gordon into a freak of nature like he is, purring over the results. Why is that so hot?

Is Gordon _that_ desperate to be wanted? Wait. Unsexy thought. Back that one up. He's not going to ruin his own orgasm by being sad and lonely. 

Benrey, fucking him. Benrey, holding him down with many arms, pinning him to the bed. Benrey, kissing him with the same taste on his lips as the Sweet Voice that Gordon's swallowing back. Rust-coloured, lust-flavoured, a gentle spice that warms his mouth and drives every thought from his head.

Benrey, Benrey, Benrey. Gordon comes while mouthing his name, and lays there for a while staring at the ceiling, feeling embarrassed by how intense it felt and a little strange in his own skin. 

There's a part of him that wants to be alien, Other, to take whatever Benrey brings to his life, and that part of him isn't as small as he thought it was. 

He checks his phone eventually, sort of hoping to have another text from Benrey, but instead he has one from Tommy.

_Please apologise to Benrey, Mr. Freeman. You upset him pretty badly._

Wait. He did? When?

Gordon squints at the message unnecessarily. What did he do? When did he talk to Benrey last?

Oh shit. He kicked Benrey out of the bed and essentially told him to fuck off, didn’t he?

It was an overreaction at the time, but he never cleared it up after, right. He was pretty busy during the work day, so it slipped his mind along the way, but… It was a dick move, yeah. He really does need to apologise.

Gordon rolls off the bed and stumbles to the bathroom sink to throw some water in his face in an attempt to wake up a bit. If he is going to text Benrey back he should probably do it when not completely smooth-brained. He's still reeling from the revelation of his own desires, desires which very much revolve around Benrey and being with him, but he doesn’t want to mess up from getting too absorbed in that right now. Engage your critical thinking skills, Gordon, that doctorate you got says you _do_ have some.

He washes his hands and dries them, then goes back to sit on the side of the bed, staring at his phone. What does he say? “Sorry I kicked you out of bed, I panicked”? Oof, no. He considers a preliminary apology and asking Benrey if he wants to meet up to talk at work, but rejects that because trying to talk about feelings at work is a bad idea if he ever saw one.

What’s neutral ground? Where would Benrey want to meet? He might get the wrong idea if Gordon invites him over. A café, maybe? Yeah, that sounds alright.

_I was kind of a dick last time, can I apologise? Meet up at the café closest to my place on Saturday?_

There’s twenty minutes of Gordon analysing every potential fuck up in his message before Benrey finally replies.

_k.o. what time_

Gordon takes a relieved breath, and texts back with a time. Then he gets ready for bed and collapses into it. Future Gordon can figure out how to apologise properly. 

-

Benrey shows up early and orders hot chocolate and a muffin. At least if it doesn’t work out he’ll have got that out of this. Maybe he’s dumb for wanting to work stuff out with Gordon after last time, or maybe just dumb in general, but he really likes him for some reason. In between all the fucking and teasing him it snuck up on Benrey like, like a thing that’s really good at sneaking, that’s what. A tapir? They’ve got stripes, that’s pretty sneaky. 

As he keeps waiting - he's really early, oops - he gets anxious about Gordon not showing up, so he muffles some Sweet Voice in a napkin, don’t want to swallow that colour, yuck. He chugs the hot chocolate to get rid of the bitter aftertaste.

Gordon is actually on time, which is… Nice. He sits down across from Benrey and there’s the world’s most awkward silence.

“You’re lucky your dick game is so bomb,” Benrey blurts out because he can’t control his mouth, but Gordon nearly chokes trying not to laugh so that’s ok.

“I can’t believe you,” Gordon snorts, and shakes his head. “Alright, no, that’s the wrong way to start. I’m here to apologise. Sorry I was such a dick.”

“Uh huh. You’re always so mean to me. I’m like trying to do my best to be good for you after making your life all weird and you’re just like ‘Benrey fuck off’. Mean as shit.” Uh oh, he’s getting upset again. He wipes his eyes on his hoodie sleeve. He’s leaking, that’s embarrassing.

“I - no, that was pretty uncool of me. I’m sorry, Benrey.” Gordon scratches the back of his own neck in an awkward way, not meeting Benrey’s eyes. “I overreacted and anyway it was extremely shitty to throw you out in the morning like that. Shouldn’t have done that.” 

“Suuuuure was shitty of you.”

“I mean, I hope you still want to be friends.”

Friends, lmao.

“Thought scientists were supposed to be smart.” He seriously still doesn’t realise that Benrey _likes_ him?

“What? I’m trying to apologise here, Benrey.” Gordon looks annoyed. What a blockhead.

“Don’t wanna be friends. I wanna go out with you,” Benrey says. “Despite the shit you pulled.”

 _“Ohhh.”_ Gordon doesn’t seem to have any big smart words to answer that, even when Benrey pauses to let him answer. Benrey picks up the muffin he hadn’t gotten around to eating earlier and starts picking it apart to give himself something to do while he’s getting his own words in order.

“Don’t wanna be some hookup you only talk to when you’re horny. Thought I was okay with it but you keep freaking out about the whole ‘alien thing’ when you’re not thinking with your dick and it’s getting pretty old.”

“Oh.” Gordon’s eyes widen like he’s been slapped, and, good. He better feel that one.

“If we date no acting _omg so ashamed_ to be around me at work either. So there’s your options, _Gordon._ ” Benrey drops the eviscerated muffin onto his plate, sits back and crosses his arms. Tommy helped him rehearse the whole little speech in case he got the chance to use it, so Benrey wouldn’t trip over his words or sound stupid. He wants Gordon to understand. “‘N it’s super convenient for you, anyhow, ‘cos if we don’t mess around more you get to stay like you are now.”

Gordon is quiet, looking down at his hands for ages, and it makes Benrey kind of antsy, he wants to throw the muffin or yell to interrupt the tension. Gordon’s gone kind of red, but honestly that could mean anything. Maybe Benrey really _is_ dumb, like he was thinking earlier, but he still wants Gordon. Even if he is high strung and oblivious sometimes.

“You know, I think I’d be ok with that.”

“Ok with that?”

“Dating.” Gordon is even redder now.

"Wha? Oh." Benrey's emotions do a 180 so sharp he feels like he got noscoped. 

“Oh shit, pog.” Uh. He probably could have said that better. Gordon is looking at him confused with that scrunchy face he gets when he’s stressed sometimes. “That’s cool man. Big cool. Great. I like dating Gordon. Would like to. You know what I fuckin’ mean.”

“God, you’re a dork.” Gordon leans his head on his hand and pulls down his facemask so he can smile at Benrey and oh shit, Benrey has the Big Gay.

“I wanna go on a date first before we fuck again, tho,” Benrey mumbles. He feels silly asking but they’re doing this emotional honesty thing. They’re doing it, man. They’re making it happen.

“Yeah, we can do that. When do you want to…?” Gordon’s looking all shy now and it’s too cute. Shouldn’t be allowed.

“How about tomorrow?” Benrey’s not gonna pretend not to be eager. He had to feel like crap for a week, then go on this emotional rollercoaster, he’s gonna get his damn date. It’s not like he’s moving in with Gordon already. Maybe after he tests the waters a bit more he can. It would be pretty sweet.

“Sure, bud.” Gordon reaches out and pats his hand and Benrey nearly dies. It feels a lot more significant than it would have about five minutes ago. “I kind of have plans for the rest of today, is it alright if I leave in 10 minutes…?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. I wanna hear your date ideas first tho.”

They catch up on what they were doing during the week - aside from Benrey being sad and Gordon being a dick who took way too long to apologise - and decide where and when to meet the next day. Gordon says he wants to make it up to Benrey still, so he suggests an arcade date. _Score._

Before they go their separate ways, Benrey asks for a kiss and Gordon gives him a brief kiss on the lips. Afterwards Benrey is so distracted he nearly walks into a street sign while texting Tommy about how it went, but he noclips through it in time. Benrey is Winning At Life.

-

Gordon’s plans for the rest of Saturday were mostly to meet with an old college friend, because he had decided he really did need to socialise more whether or not his attempt to apologise to Benrey went down in flames. It went pretty well too, considering Gordon felt like he’d left half his brain in the café with Benrey.

The rest of the day he spends at home watching tv, eating takeout, and processing the weird mix of butterflies and mild existential dread he feels. 

He honestly hadn’t expected Benrey to ask him out, of all things. So Gordon went with how he felt, which was that he wanted to see him more, he could admit he’d felt lonely without him around, and he liked the sound of dating. It’s been a while since Gordon went on dates. Maybe that’s how he’d been so completely oblivious to Benrey having feelings for him. Way to fulfil the stereotype of being a scientist with no emotional intelligence whatsoever, Gordon.

He’s not sure exactly how much he “likes” Benrey that way, but Gordon’s at least able to acknowledge being fond of him, and the sex is really good, so why not date? He’s still wrestling with the weirdness of everything involved in the ‘alien’ part of the Benrey equation, hence the touch of existential dread, but it wasn’t enough to put him off agreeing. So, now he’s dating. Dating Benrey. He has a date tomorrow. It should be fun if nothing else. Gordon isn’t as big a gamer as Benrey, but he enjoys it now and again, including the classic style arcade cabinet machines. 

Afterwards, the plan is to go back to his place to fool around. Benrey said he has a tiny dorm in Black Mesa, and Gordon doesn’t want to fuck in a small, cramped company dorm any more than Benrey does. So they’re probably going to end up on the same couch Gordon is now sitting on to watch tv. There’s a thought. He flushes a bit and shifts in his seat, barely paying any attention to the tv anymore. 

No harm in imagining having sex with Benrey tomorrow, anyway. Benrey, who is now his boyfriend. He has a boyfriend now. The thought really lands home at last and Gordon is somewhat dizzied by it. At 27 years of age he shouldn't be so stunned by that, but he is. There's a fluttery breathlessness that comes over him at the thought and it mixes up with the arousal he's already feeling. He's barely touched his cock and he's half wrecked regardless. Benrey would probably be pretty flattered to find out that Gordon is about to jack it to the thought of him, honestly.

Benrey seriously wants to be with Gordon, and he has to admit that feels pretty good. Makes thinking about them together all the sweeter. So why not see where it leads? He thinks of Benrey watching him, kissing him, touching him softly and then roughly, Benrey spreading himself out and asking to be fucked, or pinning Gordon down and fucking him, and always through all of it telling Gordon how good he looks, how hot, how much he likes him.

When he finishes, he texts Benrey a quick _thinking of you_ and a cute sticker along with it. Why not.

-

What Gordon did not expect out of an arcade date with Benrey was him wiping the floor with Gordon at DDR, holy shit. Gordon couldn’t keep up. He made a joke (in retrospect not great) about Benrey not being faster at it even if he had extra legs, and Benrey stuck out his tongue at him. 

Once Gordon gave up because his muscles started feeling like overcooked spaghetti, Benrey asked if Gordon wanted to be carried home since his poor little legs were too tired, and Gordon couldn't help going red. Benrey had smirked in a way that was both aggravating and hot. It didn't help that he stumbled later on the way home and Benrey caught him and called him a clumsy boy and Gordon _popped a boner instantly_ at that. Gordon’s probably going to come back to that moment later and die of embarrassment. After that Benrey took his hand, saying it was for safety, and Gordon had to survive the rest of the walk home with his face feeling like it had been baked in the sun.

They're at Gordon's place now, making out on the couch like Gordon had hoped they would. They were hardly in the door when Benrey pulled him into a kiss, and Gordon had to manoeuvre them both to the couch. Benrey kisses like he's possessed, hands grabbing at Gordon's shirt collar until he's faintly worried it might rip. But only faintly. It feels like Benrey is kissing any good sense he has away. He might as well be, for how desperately Gordon kisses back. Benrey's tongue curls around his, smooth and slick, and Gordon groans into the kiss.

It tastes like the Sweet Voice, a familiar flavour, and Gordon can't tell whose it is, Benrey's or his. It doesn't matter because he swallows anyway before having to stop to gasp for breath. His head feels like it's spinning. He could probably come just from kissing Benrey and grinding on his leg like a wild animal. What the hell, he might as well try to.

"Hey, let me… If we put our legs like this…" He rearranges Benrey on the seat so they can rock against each other. Gordon's so absorbed in the logistical challenge, he's caught off guard once he's halfway straddling Benrey and feels the thick muscle of Benrey's thigh pressing against the base of his cock. It's not the best position possible but he's too horny to care. It’s hot and he didn’t need to stop kissing for too long to get it to work.

Benrey licks up the side of his neck and along his jaw, making a low rumbling pleased noise and rutting against him, growling out something that sounds like _'mine'_. With that whatever coherent thought Gordon had regained is goooone. He turns his head and catches Benrey in another kiss, bringing his hands up to hold Benrey's head still and rake fingers through his hair. It’s a messy kiss, Sweet Voice spilling between their lips whenever one has to stop for breath, and as it goes on Gordon feels like liquid heat has been poured down his spine. 

Benrey’s fingers dig into Gordon’s hips and he whines into Gordon’s mouth. He rubs himself against Gordon’s leg and presses close enough that Gordon can feel the warmth of his chest up against Gordon’s, and breaks the kiss to make some very pretty noises, sliding down to mouth at and nip at Gordon’s neck. Gordon is a little annoyed at the kiss being over - although the attention to his neck is very nice - until he hears Benrey moaning his name over and over. The hands on his hips twitch and grip tighter, and yep, Gordon’s sure that Benrey came right in his pants. 

The side of him that isn’t insanely horny right now feels _insanely_ _smug_ over that. It’s quickly drowned out by the horny side when Benrey insinuates a hand into Gordon’s trousers to grip his cock. Gordon lets his hands drop to around Benrey’s shoulders and holds on desperately as Benrey starts to stroke him.

“So fuckin’ hot. Yeah, like that,” Benrey growls, in between kissing Gordon’s neck as Gordon lets out small whines and whimpers. The practiced way Benrey is stroking him is all the more dizzying after the haphazard stimulation from rubbing against Benrey’s leg. It feels like only a few seconds before Gordon is shuddering and coming in Benrey’s hand. 

He leans back against the couch and stares into nothing, enjoying the blank fuzz of his thoughts after coming hard. Benrey keeps on kissing his neck, stopping to nuzzle him occasionally, and Gordon pats his hair absently. He’s noticed before, but it’s soft, and better groomed than he would have expected from Benrey’s whole chaotic aura.

Benrey sits properly on Gordon’s lap and curls up against his chest like an oversized cat, and fuck, that’s cute. He shouldn’t be allowed to be that cute.

“Yooo, d’you wanna, go again in a few?” He’s nuzzling under Gordon’s chin again, and Gordon wonders if that’s like scent marking or something. Is it an alien thing, or a Benrey thing? He finds he’s really into how Benrey smells lately, so maybe it is an alien thing.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“Haha wow, did I melt your brain? I asked if you were down to pound, Gordon Boyfriendman.”

Gordon snorts. “Yes, but don’t call me that again because it’s so clunky it makes my ears hurt.” 

“You drive a hard fuckin’ bargain.” Benrey nips at his neck lightly, teasing, not enough to break the skin. “So picky.”

“Hey! I’ll show you a hard fucking bargain.” Gordon grabs Benrey and flips him over on the couch so Gordon is pinning Benrey down. He’s sitting atop Benrey’s legs, hands on either side of his face.

“Wow. Eagerrrr. Buy me dinner first maybe please?” Benrey grins up at him and winks, before pulling Gordon in for a vicious kiss. Gordon could get used to this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sex scenes in this chapter contain: sex at work, wall fucking (the other kind), biting, Benrey shapeshifting multiple arms and a tentacle cock, mild humiliation, mild name calling, praise, combined humiliation and praise, some possessiveness, and Gordon getting the thoughts fucked right outta him. 
> 
> Under-negotiated Kink tag is for the name calling as it was not discussed in advance of Gordon and Benrey having sex.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> 21st October 2020: Please check out [this amazing fanart](https://twitter.com/aftergayight/status/1318890152496930819) for the wall fucking scene in the office!!!!  
> This is so good I may never recover

"So what else should I expect?" Gordon doesn’t want to interrupt, but he had the thought and he needs to get it out. Just a shame he and Benrey are watching their favourite streamer at the time. Not Gordon’s favourite or Benrey’s favourite, but the one they can agree on enough to watch together. _#justcouplethings_

"Whuh?" Benrey looks back from the screen to Gordon.

“The whole alien thing. Any weird abilities aside from shapeshifting that I have to look forward to?”

"You gotta know now? While streamsta536 is on?"

"It's not the evening news, Benrey," Gordon says, as if Benrey ever watches it anyway. 

"Fiiiine. Uh, lemme see…" Benrey starts counting up on his fingers and Gordon watches mystified as he holds up four. “Four more.”

“Such as…?” Gordon prompts Benrey, he’d probably leave it there if he could. As if watching a stream of the Resi2 remake is more important, which it’s _not,_ even if they can both agree that Leon is extremely fuckable.

“First is an, uh. How the fuck do I say it. Heat scope? Thermal? Sense? It’s not like seeing but I can tell when alive things are around.”

Gordon blinks, trying to digest this information. He already guessed that Benrey’s species is predatory so it’s not too much of a surprise that he has some weird senses, but... “How does that work?” 

“Don’t know. It works so I don’t think about it too much. Sorry to disappoint, Mr Science Boyfriend.” Benrey sticks out his tongue mockingly, and Gordon has to chuckle. Yeah, alright. It’s Benrey, he shouldn’t have expected an actual coherent explanation. 

“I don’t know what I expected. I’m not a biologist but I am curious, you know? This is going to impact the rest of my life. What about the rest?”

“Easy. Shapeshifting, you’ve seen _that._ Next-level healing, you know, like Wolverine or whatever. ‘N blue blood. Pretty sure that’s the whole package.”

“Huh.” Gordon sits with the information. He’s going to need to slot all this into his understanding of himself in the future but right now it’s a lot. He’s only shaken out of staring blankly into the distance when Benrey cuddles up to him and nuzzles under his chin.

“Stop making that face, man. You’re gonna be all cool and sexy and OP. Like me.”

Gordon laughs fondly at Benrey’s inflated praise of himself, and that simple action makes him feel slightly better. He’s lucky that Benrey is good at getting a laugh out of him.

“Can even shapeshift your teeth to be all boring and blunt again if you reaaaally want to.”

Huh. That’s an upside Gordon hadn’t thought of.

-

"Special delivery for a mister Gordon Freeman, one calmdown kiss."

“What’s this, a kissogram?” Gordon smiles wryly, and pushes his chair back from his desk. “Lay it on me.”

“Dunno what a kisso-gram is but these lips are comin’ in hot.” Benrey hops onto Gordon’s lap and takes his face in his hands, smushing their lips together. It’s a bit awkward for a few seconds until he licks at Gordon’s lips and Gordon opens his mouth, letting Benrey in.

The now familiar taste of blue Sweet Voice fills Gordon’s mouth and he sighs as the tension drains out of him. It’s nice, being made to relax like that. He likes kissing Benrey.

Benrey’s solution to Gordon stressing has been offering to kiss it right out of him, which, look, it doesn’t solve the root cause, but it does actually make him feel better. It’s certainly less awful to head into a monthly performance review with a blanket of calm over his brain, for example, or having Benrey calm him down when he’s working himself up over some new weird ability he’s suddenly acquired. 

Like Benrey is doing now, dropping by to settle Gordon’s nerves after Gordon’s panicky text message about being able to sense people walking around outside the room.

Yes, Gordon reflects as he breaks the kiss to take a breath, Gordon knew it was going to happen. No, it didn’t make him feel that much better when the weird headache he had all morning cleared up, replaced by the unerring knowledge of where every person in a 50 foot radius is in relation to him. 

It’s so fucking weird. He doesn’t have the language to fully describe having an entire new sense. It feels how a thermal scope _looks_ except it’s also a crawling sensation up the back of his neck. Spatial awareness except _only_ of where living things are in relation to him and it goes beyond what he can see. He’d actually kind of prefer if he got permanent thermal vision instead, at least that would be a modification of a sense he already has. At least he’s not likely to bump into anyone by accident in future.

The growing parade of weirdness Gordon’s life has become is redeemed as always by Benrey kissing him again. He does need his brain to work the rest of the day so he can’t indulge too much, but the relaxation is a balm. Gordon strokes Benrey’s cheek, trying to show his appreciation.

There’s a hint of something else mixing with the overwhelming flavour of Blue, and Benrey stops kissing him to look at Gordon with big wide pupils. He nibbles his lower lip carefully, and Gordon can’t help notice how cute that is. Who authorised Benrey looking cute?

“Hey, uh. What if we. Fucked right here in your office?” Benrey’s face is a bit bluer than usual, which Gordon has come to recognise as a blush. “Make you feel better.”

“What, now?” They haven’t gone this far in work, and honestly it feels risky enough for a bit of worry to peek through the calm fogging up his brain. Even if Black Mesa are too cheap to put cameras in the individual offices, as Benrey had told him before.

“Yep. Can be a fun lil test of the new, you know, cool sense stuff. Lock the door, obvs. If someone gets too close to the office we stop.” Benrey grins, and god help Gordon but that look alone turns him on a little. “It’ll be fun. Big strong Gordon hold me up against the wall and fuck my ass.”

“I can’t believe I’m letting you talk me into this.” Gordon says, and rolls his eyes at the _‘fuck yessss’_ Benrey lets out. “Take that ridiculous helmet off at least.”

“Yes sir right away sir.” Benrey drops his helmet on Gordon’s desk. He follows it with throwing his security vest on the floor, and slides off Gordon’s lap to drop his trousers immediately, kicking them into a corner. 

“Someone’s eager.” Gordon smirks and gets up and takes off his labcoat, leaving it on his desk chair.

“Can’t help it,” Benrey whines. “You’re hot and I wanna get pounded against the wall.” He blows out a few rusty-coloured bubbles.

“Wow, where are your manners, Benny boy?” It’s not often he gets to lord it over Benrey that he’s the more clear-headed one. Gordon’s enjoying this so much he can almost forget he’s in work. 

“Please fuck me please Gordon?” Benrey says it right out, he has no shame. Which, yes, it’s hot, but sometimes it would be nice to get to tease him more.

“Good enough.” He crowds Benrey against the wall and brings a hand up to Benrey’s mouth, first tracing his lower lip with a thumb and then sticking two fingers inside. “Suck.”

Benrey makes an affirmative ‘mmf’ and sucks on Gordon’s fingers, sliding his tongue around them and coating them with a slick mess of Sweet Voice and saliva. It reminds Gordon of how good that tongue feels curled around his cock, the sense memory along with Benrey’s muffled noises coaxing Gordon into getting properly hard.

“There you go.” Gordon removes his fingers, and Benrey chases them for a second before Gordon gives him a chiding look. “You know what’s next,” he adds.

Benrey nods, plays the part of the eager bottom perfectly, leaning back against the wall and spreading his legs to give Gordon access. Gordon wastes no time stretching and prepping Benrey, spitting more Sweet Voice onto his hand when he needs it, getting Benrey all nice and slick for him. He’s about to go right ahead and unzip his trousers when he remembers the door isn’t locked.

Yes, he can tell there’s nobody around, but someone might come along later. He quickly locks the door and then goes back to pressing Benrey against the wall.

“Yeah, fucking… Do it. Pick me up and shove me right on top of your hard meat, bro.” Benrey is drooling while he unzips Gordon and pulls out his cock, and it’s almost enough to ignore the crap he’s saying.

“How has your dirty talk not gotten better the whole time we’ve been fucking,” Gordon says mostly to himself, crouching a bit and getting a hold of Benrey to lift him up to waist level. It’s a bit of fumbling to get his cock lined up, but when he does, he slides right the way in with a muffled groan. He’s got Benrey wedged between himself and the wall, holding tight to Benrey’s thighs for additional support. The position is doing more for him than expected, with the combination of Benrey rocking down against Gordon’s hips and the sheer rush of having Benrey pinned and seemingly helpless.

Benrey throws his legs and arms around Gordon and holds on tight, letting Gordon set the pace of fucking him. Gordon doesn’t hold back, this is a quick fuck at work after all. Benrey is moaning when Gordon senses someone passing outside the room. A little blip on his internal radar. 

“Ssssshhh. Ssshh.” Gordon stops, holding still. Benrey lifts a hand to muffle the moans that he seems incapable of otherwise holding back. It’s a tense minute, but… Exciting, too, in a way. When whoever it was walks away in the other direction, Gordon fucks up into Benrey with renewed enthusiasm.

“Unbutton your shirt for me,” Gordon says. Something about the position, the whole situation, makes Gordon want to bite Benrey and mark him up a little. Shame he heals so quickly. He can still have his fantasies about Benrey walking around work with bitemarks showing, even if they’re not very realistic.

“Huh?” Benrey looks at him blankly for a second, then nods, unbuttoning the first few buttons of his work shirt and pushing the shirt collar out of Gordon’s way. “All yours, Gordo.”

Gordon thrusts into him, Benrey clinging on to Gordon, and Gordon licks at Benrey’s neck before choosing a spot to dig his teeth in. Benrey whimpers, but it’s mixed with another moan. Gordon bites down harder, barely hearing Benrey’s _‘holy fuck, dude’_ before he feels the warmth of Benrey’s cum splashing between their stomachs. 

He releases his hold on Benrey’s neck, because he doesn’t want to risk any real damage while he’s getting too close to realise it, and fucks Benrey at a frantic pace to chase his own orgasm. The sharp copper taste of Benrey’s blood floods his mouth as he licks Benrey’s neck clean. Benrey makes little overstimulated whimpers and clenches down around his cock. It all combines to have Gordon panting and moaning into Benrey’s shoulder when his orgasm hits. Benrey strokes and pats his hair through it.

When Gordon is done, he kisses Benrey lazily, Benrey’s tongue running lightly over his lips. Somehow he gets Benrey safely deposited on the ground again without his knees buckling under the weight. Benrey stumbles away over to the corner with his underwear and work trousers, and Gordon feels his face heat up noticing the cum leaking from Benrey’s ass.

“Uh, Benrey? Want me to clean you up a bit?”

Benrey turns back around, looks between them, and smirks when he figures out where Gordon had been looking.

“Nah, I kinda like it. Gonna have a bit of you with me the rest of the day.” That said, Benrey pulls on his boxers and then his trousers over them.

“That is either the grossest sappy thing or the sappiest gross thing I’ve ever heard.” Gordon wrinkles his nose.

“You like it,” Benrey says, and flashes him a grin so wide it feels almost threatening. Gordon doesn’t bother protesting, because yes, he sort of does. If he _did_ say anything, Benrey would find some way to be filthier next time, and that escalation would hurt Gordon’s dignity more than it could ever hurt Benrey’s.

He’s busy looking over the terrible mess he made of his sweater vest anyway. Cum all over the front of it. He pulls it off with a muffled swear and balls it up. At least he has his shirt and labcoat anyway. He tucks his cock into his pants and tidies himself up and deliberately looks away from Benrey buckling up his security vest _right on top_ of the cum drying on the front of Benrey’s shirt. It won’t be visible, so, small mercies there. 

Gordon’s going to have to do emergency laundry tonight and dunk Benrey in the bath. Nasty cum gremlin.

Nasty cum gremlin who is leaning back in for a kiss. Gordon presses their lips together, and lets Benrey lick along his lips and a bit over his beard.

“Cleaning you up,” Benrey says by way of explanation. “You got blue on you. Feel better?”

“Better than what?” Gordon says, brain still running slow after coming. Benrey laughs in his face, but softens the blow by giving Gordon another kiss. 

“Like how you get after cumming,” Benrey mumbles, like he’s telling Gordon a secret. “See ya later after work, big guy.”

“ _Big guy?_ ” Gordon says to himself after Benrey leaves. It’s not bad, honestly, out of all the things Benrey could have chosen to call him. 

-

The next weekend that he and Benrey go to hang out with Tommy, Benrey tries to sit on Gordon’s lap while they’re playing a game. Gordon gets flustered and shoves Benrey off, but he doesn’t miss the knowing look Tommy gives him.

At least Tommy doesn’t give him a shovel talk. His face somehow implies it anyway - unless that’s Gordon’s guilty conscience running wild - so Gordon tries to convey through silent looks that he’s trying not to fuck up this time. Whether it works he has no idea.

Gordon works up the courage to link arms with Benrey later, and Tommy calls them cute. Benrey is _delighted_. Gordon blushes red enough he feels like he’s going to die. 

It turns out to be a good day.

-

Gordon hadn't brought it up in the first few weeks since they started dating because he's pretty sure it would have been a professional-grade dick move, but he's definitely been thinking about Benrey shapeshifting to have many arms and then overpowering him. And by thinking he means he's been jerking off to that.

Gordon mentions it to Benrey and Benrey levels him with a flat look that makes Gordon splutter out apologies for bringing it up at all. Benrey cuts him off.

"So like. Does this mean next level hugs are okay, or do I only get to do that when you want to have sex?"

Whether that was meant as a jab at Gordon or not, he flinches. Benrey is usually focused on the present so he hasn't brought it up much, but Gordon does still feel bad about what he pulled before. Just… Not so much that he won't bring up his sexual fantasies. Or incorporate Benrey’s shapeshifting into them in the first place, apparently.

“Yeah, I think so. I was just surprised first time, bud. And I overreacted and shit. Again, I’m sorry about that.” Gordon scratches at the back of his neck, looking away from Benrey. “Now I know you can do it and it’s nothing sinister, it’s… Fine. Yeah. It’s fine.”

“Uh huh. Okay, yeah. I’ll fuck ya like that. Bit of manhandling for Gordon Freeman, on the house.” Benrey grabs Gordon’s wrists firmly in his two regular hands, and pins them down by his sides. “How about now?”

Gordon feels like Benrey reached in with his noclip somehow and found a switch to turn him on right that second. He feels enjoyably hot and shivery, pushing against Benrey’s hold on his wrists.

“Y-yeah. I’d like that.” 

“Fuck yes. Bend over the arm of the couch, bottom boy, and I’ll show you how it’s done.”

Gordon takes off his clothes - he wants to be touched, wants Benrey touching him all over - and positions himself bent over the arm of the couch, feet still on the ground but hands bracing against the couch cushions. He’s horny enough to say another stupid thing he’s been wondering about.

“If you can shapeshift, why do you have a human cock?”

“Oh my god, Gordon, you can't just ask someone why they've got a human cock.”

Gordon is so caught off guard he laughs until he’s wheezing. Is that - a _Mean Girls reference?_ Of all the things Benrey doesn’t know about human culture outside of gaming, he knows about Mean Girls?! _“You can't just ask someone why they've got a human cock.”_ Nope, that’s it, there he goes again.

“God damn you, that was a - fuck - a serious question.” Gordon fights off a second round of giggles.

“If I’m tryna get with a human dude it’s easier if I have a human cock, duhhhh,” Benrey says. “Once upon a time a gay little alien watched some gay porn and made himself a cock cos he wanted to fuck a scientist in his big gay ass. The end.”

“Oh my god.” That’s somehow completely straightforward and completely absurd. “Seriously, oh my god.”

“Lemme guess, you like that tentacle shit? Big hentai guy? Gordon Hentaiman? You want my big squirmy alien cock?

Gordon buries his face in the couch cushions, cheeks burning. The answer is yes, actually, but Benrey can’t call him the fuck out like that! Jesus Christ.

“You a freak for aliens? I won’t judge, big guy. Kinda into ‘em myself, why else would a cool sexy dude like me pretend to be a squishy human.” Benrey drapes himself over Gordon’s back and gloats right up next to his ear in the smuggest tone possible. “If you wanna have my tentacle cock up your ass you gotta _ask_ though.”

“Oh god,” Gordon squeaks. He’s fully hard now, he can feel his cock rubbing against the couch as he tries not to squirm in place under Benrey, but this is the most embarrassing way for it to happen.

“Hey, you don’t wanna, it’s cool. Can stick with the ol’ human dick, classic style, modelled on only the finest of gay porn stars.” Benrey pushes off from the couch and stands back. The lack of contact all of a sudden is intolerable.

“No, I - I want to try it. The, ah. You know. The tentacle thing,” Gordon forces out.

“Yooooo, nice.” Benrey squeezes Gordons ass and grinds his cock in between his asscheeks. The texture is - different from usual - slick, dripping, _squirming._ That’s, yep, that’s a tentacle. Gordon is about to lose his mind. “Got all your freak outs outta the way up front so you could get all freaky instead. Your best boyfriend Benrey sees how it is.”

“Mmhm.” Gordon keeps his face pressed against the cushions. There goes Gordon’s dignity, rest in pieces. If only Benrey calling him a freak didn’t make him so fucking hard. “Alright, I get it. You think I’m a freak. Going to fuck me now?”

“Yeah, yeah. One sec,” Benrey says, holding Gordon’s asscheeks apart, and Gordon feels Benrey’s length rubbing up and down Gordon’s perineum and then all around his hole, like it’s moving by itself. Gordon bites his lip to avoid making any completely shameful noises, ignoring the pain as his sharp teeth cut into the skin.

“Thing is, I’m a freak too. Love being one.” Benrey’s tentacle cock rubs over Gordon’s asshole, and the tip feels wet and slimy. Gordon pants harshly and forces himself not to rock back against it. He doesn’t need to give Benrey any more ammunition. “Love that you’re one. Gordon _Freakman_. We’re fucking - ” Benrey snaps his hips forward, pushing into Gordon’s hole. At the same time, many hands descend on Gordon’s shoulders and back and waist, touching and caressing and squeezing. “Fucking _perfect_ together.” 

“Bet you beat your meat to all kinds of weird stuff all the time,” Benrey purrs. “Bet you got off thinking about me groping you just. Like. This.” As Benrey says it, some of the hands on Gordon’s back slide around to stroke his torso and grope his chest. Others still rub up and down his back or massage his asscheeks. “Right, Freakman?”

Gordon whimpers. This is too much. He can’t take all of this together at once. He can’t. He wants to. He feels like his brain is going to melt before he ever gets off. He’s drooling rust-coloured Sweet Voice all over the couch cushions. Benrey hasn’t started fucking him yet and he’s already a _mess_.

“Yoooo, I asked you a question? Be polite and answer please and thank you.” Benrey sing-songs the words, insufferably smug. “Won’t fuck you unless you do.”

“I did, alright? I did.” He can’t keep the whine out of his voice. Please please let Benrey not make him repeat himself. He couldn’t cope.

“Hell yesssssss.” One of Benrey’s hands reaches down to circle his cock, giving it a light tug like it’s a reward. Another pulls on his hair, forcing his face up from the cushions and making him arch back. A third sticks fingers in Gordon’s mouth. There’s a pair on Gordon’s waist. Then Benrey starts to thrust and Gordon loses all count of how many hands are touching him. “Nasty lil freak. Aaaaaall for me.”

“Yrs,” Gordon splutters out around the fingers in his mouth. He doesn’t even think about it, can’t think about it. It feels right.

“Mine.” Benrey fucks him slow and deep, letting his hands roam around Gordon’s body. He speeds up gradually until his thrusts are rocking Gordon against the couch, leaving him to brace himself against whatever he can grab onto. “My freaky lil weirdo scientist boyfriend. You’re mine, Freakman.”

Gordon comes right in the middle of it all, so lost in sensation all he can do is moan. The hand that had fingers in Gordon’s mouth moves to hold his chin instead, leaving the sounds he’s making unmuffled. He’s held in place by Benrey, a hand steadily jerking him off until he’s shuddering from over-stimulation. If he wanted to, he could tap the couch in their signal to stop, but... He doesn’t feel like he’s done yet, so he curls his fingers into the couch cushions and lets Benrey keep thrusting into him. The wriggling of Benrey’s smooth, prehensile cock brushing against his prostate is barely on the right side of too much.

Soon he’s back to half hard again, arms and legs shaking from Benrey rocking deeply into him. He hears Benrey start to moan out a _‘mine, mine, mine’_ and then Benrey’s cock is writhing inside him. Warmth floods him as Benrey cums in spurts. Gordon’s satisfaction is tempered by knowing Benrey’s going to stop fucking him once he’s finished coming.

“Keep going,” Gordon rasps out. “Please.” Please, he can go a second time. Benrey laughs breathlessly. He keeps fucking him like Gordon asked. Somehow Benrey doesn’t go soft. Gordon doesn’t question it, leaning into the feeling of getting fucked while full of Benrey’s cum. The hands stroking his body haven’t stopped. Gordon manages a second orgasm eventually, and lets his arms fold under him, dropping him to lie on the couch as he shudders, twitches, and calls out Benrey’s name.

Several of Benrey’s arms encircle his torso, squeezing gently. He feels Benrey pull out, warm slick spilling out of Gordon as he does. Benrey lifts him and repositions them to cuddle on the couch, carefully folding their bare bodies together.

“Have fun?” 

Gordon nods. He feels the rumble of Benrey making a pleased purr-like noise in response.

“The lights are out, come back when Gordon’s home again,” he mumbles. His head is wonderfully empty. He’s tired, too. He closes his eyes and tries to count how many limbs Benrey has, and loses track several times before finally falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this, I'd love to get a comment to help keep me going while I'm working on the final chapter. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's commented and encouraged me along the way writing this fic! It's the longest I've finished so far, and that feels really nice. Thanks to the discord, to everyone who beta read previous chapters, and to Masque and Lex and Eggnog for proofreading this one!
> 
> Look at [this amazing fanart](https://twitter.com/aftergayight/status/1318890152496930819) for one of the scenes in chapter 4! ♥
> 
> This chapter contains fluff, sex, and also a whole heaping of body horror, mostly of the fun and sexy sort. If you want to skip past the one not as fun body horror scene, once you get to _Aw, fuck. Yep, that would do it._ skip ahead to “Good job, big guy.”

Gordon dreams.

Gordon dreams of fucking Benrey, but not like he's ever done it before.

He dreams of his mouth meeting Benrey’s, and his mouth meeting Benrey’s, and his other mouth licking along Benrey’s shoulder, teeth digging in, and another mouth pleasuring Benrey, sucking Benrey’s cock, and… How many mouths does he have, again?

That doesn’t seem right.

It’s not as important in the now-moment as holding Benrey close and feeling their bodies press together almost to the point of mingling and melding together. Benrey flows in his grasp, stretching and twisting, teasingly holding some of himself out of reach, and Gordon grows extra arms to hold him closer. Being close is all he can think of, how parts of Benrey best slot together with parts of Gordon, and the flitting idea that there might be more ways to experience that pleasure drives him to make new openings for Benrey to fuck him in, as if they aren’t already joined with each other in several places in their writhing tangle of togetherness. One of Gordon’s mouths lets out a stream of colours that means “invitation”. Benrey grasps him eagerly, tendrils finding and filling where Gordon is aching for him. Gordon shudders and cries out.

And that’s when Gordon wakes up. 

His heart is pounding in his chest at an uncomfortable speed. His mouth is kind of dry. He sits up and practices his deep breathing, unable to prevent himself from lingering on what he remembers of the dream - the nightmare.

That’s the first time in his life he’s had a sexy nightmare. It’s definitely a nightmare. A nightmare about being a stretched and twisted mess of mouths and limbs and parts and orifices, barely recognisable as having a human origin, fucking and being fucked simultaneously by Benrey, locked in an ecstasy too great to reflect on what he's become. Definitely a nightmare.

No matter that remembering it gives him a shiver down his spine that isn’t _entirely_ unpleasant. Or that he can feel cum cooling on his stomach because apparently he came all over his lower torso in his sleep. Gordon slips out of bed and pads to the bathroom to clean himself off and go to the toilet, and does his best to convince himself that it was his brain being weird reacting to the _nightmare_ like it was a _wet dream_. He can accept Benrey shapeshifting, even find it hot in some ways, but doing it himself? No, no. That’s too much.

He’s not entertaining that thought. He’s going back to bed. Somehow, he will get back to sleep, despite his heart still going at a speed hitherto only seen in stressed rabbits.

Gordon gets back into bed, and hears a quiet “whuh?” before Benrey is leaning over to look him in the face, his eyes lidded like he’s half asleep still.

“Lookin’ stressed, big guy. Sleepy kiss time?”

“Yeah. I could probably do with one.” He gives Benrey a small smile.

The kiss is blue raspberry gradually melting into lavender. The combination should be unpalatable, but when it’s the Sweet Voice it works anyway. Gordon imagines a lilac field swaying. The little lavender pillows you put in your drawer to keep it fresh. Scented drops put on the pillow to calm and soothe to sleep. When they stop kissing, his eyes feel too heavy to open and his thoughts are quiet. 

-

It’s weird how mundane 'weirdness' can start to feel. Gordon works, sometimes he sees Benrey during the day, most of the time Benrey comes home with him. He eats Gordon’s food, hogs Gordon’s tv to play the games collection he unilaterally decided belongs in Gordon’s apartment now, or hogs Gordon’s lap or one of his arms while watching tv together, and he stays the night most nights. Every second weekend they go to visit Tommy, sometimes Tommy brings other friends around. One time they get drunk over at Tommy's, and Tommy demonstrates a terrifying proficiency at beer pong.

Sometimes he and Benrey fuck, or a lot more frequently than that, if Gordon is honest. It’s good sex. Gordon is the most well-fucked he’s ever been and it’s doing wonders for his stress levels.

Every so often they go on a date. 

For the most part things are mundane, routine, pleasant. Gordon likes it. He likes slotting another person into his lonesome existence, and in his heart of hearts he likes that this person is Benrey specifically.

Except for the truly bizarre shit Benrey pulls sometimes, like bringing home a fishtank full of goldfish one time after Gordon mentioned wanting fish for dinner. Yes, it made him laugh, but what was he supposed to do with a whole fishtank? He wasn’t going to eat them. The water got everywhere, too. Now he has goldfish to look after which Benrey is absolutely not equipped to care for. The perils of dating an alien.

If you'd asked Gordon before what he thought dating an alien would be like, his answer - if he didn't tell you to please stop wasting his time - would have been a lot stranger than this. Aside from the infectious alien transformation bit, that's more than enough strange. It’s on his thoughts often, spawning bizarre dreams and occasional fantasies when he’s bored at work that he’d never admit to aloud. 

He’s not going to beg Benrey to cum in his mouth and ass until Gordon can’t move, having to lie back and let Benrey look after him while Gordon feels his genetic code unravel and knit back together in a new shape in real time. He has, however, caught himself in the middle of imagining it more than once. Then followed it up with reading any academic paper he could get his hands on that might explain why being scared by the idea only seemed to make him more into it. (What kind of quirk of biology or psychology is that?!)

There’s no timeline for the last changes. The blood, the healing, the shapeshifting. He asked Benrey, and Benrey shrugged. He never knew it could happen before Gordon either. So Gordon’s left waiting for the next change with a mixture of fear and anticipation too complicated to unravel. 

In the meantime, life goes on and gets increasingly comfortable and domestic when nobody’s squabbling over who gets to use the TV. It's Benrey's turn to pick where they'll go on their next date. Hopefully not the zoo again, because there’s only so many times Gordon can explain the correct names of the animals to a grown man/alien before breaking down into a combination of hysterical tears and laughter.

-

“Yo, take my hand, big guy.”

“Any particular reason?” Gordon says, a cute little quirk to his lips.

"It’s date night, bro. We’re gonna go on a date.”

“Where to? I’m not dressed for going out, I’m going to need to change.”

“Naaahhhh. Doesn’t matter if you do. C’mon, take my hand. It’s cool alien stuff, lemme show you.”

Gordon raises his eyebrows but takes Benrey’s hand.

“Might wanna close your eyes. Could get uhhhh, motion sickness. Yeah.”

Benrey can feel the tension in Gordon’s grip the second he says it, but he closes his eyes, lips pressed together in a flat thin line.

“Don’t make me regret trusting you, Benny.”

Feetman being sweet right out of nowhere, holy fuck. Benrey has to concentrate super hard to stop his flesh body from going all not human-shaped and “weird” with all the feelings that he’s having together at the same time.

“Nothing’s happening?” 

“Sshh. Shut your face. Thanks.” At least Gordon can’t see him blushing.

Pro-level noclipping skills time. Here he goes. 

Benrey tugs himself and Gordon like, _siiiiideways?_ Through space? Very very fast? And clips into the next dimension over? 

Human language doesn’t really have words for it. Gordon is so going to ask him to explain because he loves all that physics shit and Benrey is going to have to shrug and say “I dunno”. Benrey’s not actually stupid, even if he gets mistaken for it. Explaining things that work naturally for him across a language barrier and species gap is too much work though. Feels bad. He doesn’t like it. Why bother.

Anyway. Here they are! Xen! It’s Xen date time, baybeee. Gordon is going to fucking love it.

“Open those peepers for me, big guy.” Benrey wiggles his other hand and watches Gordon’s face. He’ll like it, right? Benrey likes it. Nice colours, nice sky. Fun gravity. Cool dudes from other dimensions who think Benrey’s great because he kicked the shit out of the nasty giant floating baby man who used to be in charge before Benrey showed up.

“Aren’t we still - ” Gordon opens his eyes. His jaw flops open next. “Oh my god. How are we - I thought we didn’t even move. Where IS this?”

“We’re on Xen, bro.”

"Wow. Uh. I mean. Is this where you come from?" Gordon is looking all around the floating rock they’re on, with big wide eyes. He looks genuinely amazed and excited. Score one for Benrey. Benrey keeps a very tight hold on Gordon’s hand because he’s not about to let his boyfriend fall off and plummet to fuck knows where if he gets overexcited and gets the science zoomies like a giant nerdy cat.

"It's not my homeworld or whatever but it's pretty cool. So, yeah. Welcome to chez Benrey. I'm the boss man here, the big boss."

“Wait, wait. I just realised. You said Xen? Xen, like the crystals?”

“There’s crystals around, yeah.” 

“Xen crystals?” Gordon is looking at him very intensely, but Benrey doesn’t know what he wants.

“Idk what they’re called. Yellow ones, come in different sizes. Get all charged up and stuff.”

“That’s them. Strange... We have a few very small samples in Black Mesa. Shards, really. My department have been working on using them either for teleporting or as an energy source but haven’t gotten too far. The samples are too small. We’re hoping to get a bigger one, but wherever they’re sourcing it is beyond me.”

“Kinda weird that there’s Xen stuff on Earth.” How did that even get there? Seems kinda suspect if you ask Benrey. “Dunno if you should be messing with those. Might blow up or something.”

“We don’t even have a big enough sample, so I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s not like there aren’t safety precautions in place anyway.” Gordon is looking over at one of the other platforms, tugging on Benrey’s hand as he does. “I want to see what’s over there.”

“Cool cool. Lemme lead though, there’s some dangerous shit around. Like the big pointy things with the pointy arms, and the nasty lil crab dudes.”

“The _what?”_

“I know right? Can just avoid the places where they hang out tho, so stay real close. Benrey will keep you safe. Be a shit date otherwise.” Benrey squeezes Gordon’s hand. Gordon’s face goes all red, which is fun.

“Alright, but - tell me what to look out for. So I know.”

So Benrey describes headcrabs and the pointy stabby big “plant” things to Gordon in between hopping from one platform to the next. It’s easy for Benrey, like playing Mario or something. Even kind of fun. Gordon doesn’t seem to think so, telling him to him slow down a bit, but that’s fine. Dude’s legs aren’t shaking at least, which is impressive considering how much time Gordon spent losing his shit about alien stuff earlier in their relationship. Maybe jumping across a terrifying sheer drop into nothingness is less intimidating than having a hot alien bf.

Once they’re at the biggest floating island thing, Benrey leads Gordon around for a bit of sightseeing. They take it slow, and Benrey gets to see Gordon wondering over his surroundings all relaxed and happy. Yeah, he occasionally mutters about how much more he could learn from it if he was a xenobiologist instead of a physicist, but he looks impressed all the same. He turns to point out stuff he’s noticed to Benrey and has this real spark in his eyes, waving his free arm around enthusiastically. Benrey is soaking up the knowledge that he did something cool and special and now Gordon is going to like him more. Plus paying attention to what Benrey got for him or did for him or showed him is basically paying attention to Benrey only with extra steps added.

That’s why Benrey is a tiny bit selfish and doesn’t introduce Gordon to the Vortigaunts. He’ll totally do it next time. This time is a _date_ and that means it’s _special_. He doesn’t want Gordon to get all distracted from him by being intrigued by another form of intelligent life or whatever. The Vorts are cool but today is Benrey and Gordon solo.

Benrey leads Gordon up to a high point for a nice lil overview of everything. Great vantage point for the cosmic dust clouds and shifting colours of the sky. Benrey catches Gordon murmuring about the colour and wondering what causes it.

“Wassup?”

“Oh. I was wondering why the sky is like that. It’s lovely, really. Whatever the reason.” Gordon gives Benrey a soft look before turning back to looking at the sky. One hit KO.

“Uhh. Sure is.” Benrey’s rebooting after getting KO’d by soft Gordon. He looks away from the starstruck face Gordon is making at the sky, to give himself a chance to recover and not say any dumb shit that would ruin the mood, which he's an expert at.

And that’s when he notices it. And forgets all about what he was doing a second earlier.

Oh damn. Oh hell yeah. Hell fucking yes. Gordon has stopped right next to a big pond of the slimy blue healing stuff. Once in a lifetime opportunity right here.

Gordon is so caught up in studying the shifting colours above him that he doesn’t notice Benrey shoving him into the pond until it’s too late. He goes down with a stream of curses and a huge splash. Pog.

“What the fuck? You little bastard!” Gordon swipes for Benrey’s leg but Benrey steps out of his way. “The hell is this stuff? Benrey I swear to god it better not be dangerous.”

“Brooooo,” Benrey says mournfully. “I would _never._ It’s healing goop. Like an, uhh, extra fancy bath. Lush bath bomb. Good for your skin. Smells nice. Gordon Stinkman forget what baths are?”

Gordon responds by throwing a handful of blue goop at Benrey’s face. Benrey dodges, cackling.

“Thought you said it wasn’t dangerous?”

“Still nasty flung at your face at high speeds by an angry nerd.”

“I’ll show you an angry fucking nerd, oh my god.” Gordon pulls himself up out of the pond, dripping watery goop all over the place, and advances on Benrey threateningly. Benrey could get him a new career as a swamp monster.

Benrey takes the teeny tiniest bit of pity on Gordon and stays juuuust out of his grasp when Gordon’s chasing him around. Don’t want to get too far away and risk a dumb accident either. Safety first, even when Benrey’s not on the job. He should get a raise. And a promotion. And then another raise, so he can buy cool stuff. 

Benrey feels clammy wet hands around his middle and hears Gordon yelling “gotcha” from right next to his ear, and realises that Gordon caught up while Benrey was fantasising about that raise he’s definitely owed. Damn.

“Noooo, you got me,” Benrey says in monotone. “What’re you gonna dooooo, big guy?” 

“Gordon takes his revenge,” Gordon growls (cutely), before dragging Benrey back with him to the pond and dropping them both into it together, arms still around Benrey’s waist. He only lets go when Benrey is completely covered and sopping wet. “Ha!! How do you like THAT?”

“Pretty good tbh. Your shirt’s gone see-thru. Winner of the first annual Black Mesa wet t-shirt contest right in front of me.”

Gordon dunks him again. Benrey reemerges spluttering blue stuff.

“I thought we were having a moment back there, man! What the hell?” Gordon has his teeth bared angrily. Honestly the effect is more hot than intimidating. 

“Now we’re having a moment in here,” Benrey says, grinning and sloshing over to get right up in Gordon’s personal bubble. “Snarl at me more, science daddy.”

“What the - I can’t believe you. Benrey. I don’t even know where to start. Except don’t call me that again, it’s just weird. I’m not even a dad and even if I was - nope.” Gordon has his hands up stopping Benrey getting closer.

“Lame. Fiiine, I won’t. Was having fun, Gordo.” Benrey pouts. Come on, look at the pout. Can’t stay mad at the pout. “How’s about a lil tussle? Get all the aggro out. C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

“Wrestling, huh.” Gordon gets this glint in his eye and that’s all the warning Benrey has before he’s grabbed and spun around and his arms are twisted behind him. Ooh yeah. That’s more like it.

Benrey struggles for show. He could flip the situation with a few extra arms but Gordon can’t do the shapeshifty thing so that’s not fair or fun. Benrey’s doing this one with no cheat codes enabled. 

That’s the only way Gordon could overpower him like he does, even if he is strong for a nerd. Gordon keeps Benrey’s arms all pinned behind him and pushes him forward, laughing low when Benrey lets out a hiss. He ends up shoved up along the edge of the pool where it gets shallow, legs half submerged and with his nose pressed against the ground, Gordon sitting on Benrey’s lower back. 

Benrey can feel his body heat when Gordon leans right down over him, and warm breath on the back of his neck. Wow, yup, horny time is now. Benrey tries to turn the raise of his hips away from the ground into an attempt to shake Gordon off. It doesn’t work super well because his horny brain intercepts and turns it into a chance to grind back down against the ground instead. It feels kind of good but Benrey's not about to let himself be overpowered by a science nerd. Second attempt is go.

He flips himself over and catches Gordon in a roll, splashing through the shallows to end up pinning Gordon down on his back. He catches Gordon’s wrists and Gordon pushes back against his hands, growling. Gordon’s pupils are all dilated and he’s showing his teeth, panting heavily beneath Benrey, and it is ridiculously hot. There’s no way he can’t feel Benrey’s boner. Not when Gordon bucks beneath him.

“You're pretty good for a nerd who doesn’t know CQC. But being all physical is my job, big guy.” 

“Never told me your job involves pinning guys down and getting hard-ons, Benny.” Gordon’s voice is a little gravelly and the sound goes right to Benrey’s cock. Gordon bucks again, the warm slime he’s half submerged in turning it more into a slide of his crotch against Benrey’s. Benrey takes a sharp breath.

“Naaah, that bit’s only for you.” Benrey lowers himself down and presses their lips together, smirking to himself when Gordon leans up into it.

“It better be. I don’t want to share,” Gordon growls against Benrey’s lips. “You’re a pain sometimes, but you’re mine.”

“No sharing. I’m yours.” It’s a fucking thrill to say it. By the pleased sound he makes, Gordon wants to hear it right back. Benrey lets Gordon’s wrists go to grab the sides of his face instead and crush their mouths together.

Gordon growls again and bites at Benrey's lip like he's running on instinct, and fuck if it doesn't get Benrey hot. Gentle fucking is good, too, but getting marked and claimed appeals to the parts of him that want to call Gordon his _mate_ instead of his _boyfriend._ Benrey licks his own blood off his lips and trails his tongue along Gordon's lower lip, pressing in to make out with him. He honestly can't wait for Gordon to really be one of his kind so he can bite him up good and hard in return. Humans are squishy, Benrey has to be so careful not to get carried away.

Nothing stopping him ripping Gordon's t-shirt off, though. It's one he borrowed from Benrey, sneaky like he thought Benrey wouldn't notice somehow, but that's good 'cos it means he's not all attached to it. Benrey takes one hand and rakes careful claws through the front of it, completely shredding the fabric. He leaves a tiny scratch down Gordon's chest by accident but by the way Gordon gasps into Benrey's mouth and rubs up against him, he must have enjoyed it.

The slimy stuff they're covered in makes it really easy to rut against Gordon, leg pressed against the v of his hips. Benrey is happy to just grind together like that until Gordon breaks the kiss to tell him otherwise.

"Touch me."

"'Kay. Where?"

"My dick, where else?" Gordon pushes Benrey off to shimmy his pants down. Benrey decides to unzip himself too. He's gonna jerk them off together, they'll both like that. Today Benrey's sporting a whole thatch of wriggly tentacle cocks so that's gonna be _extra fun._

"You get all cranky when you're needy. Let Benny boy fix that for ya." 

"By all means." Gordon gestures to his cock which is standing to attention all proud. Benrey gives a salute to the brave soldier standing all on its own, and Gordon rolls his eyes.

It's fun how sudden Gordon's mood changes when Benrey crouches back over him and does some looming, leaving his tongue hang out and drool drip down. Gordon's pupils get all big again and he spreads his legs and bares his neck without seeming to notice what he's doing. Benrey lowers himself so the tips of their cocks do a cute little barely there kiss and then rubs his up and down against Gordon's on the left and right, getting him all wet and coated with slick.

Gordon watches Benrey's tendrils wrap around his cock with big wide eyes, taking short breaths and bracing his elbows against the ground for a better angle to watch. The biggest tentacle Benrey presses against Gordon's shaft while the smaller ones encircle it. For the cherry on top of the cock sundae, he closes his fist in around them and gives an experimental little tug. Ooh, that's nice. From the way Gordon's pretty eyelashes flutter, he thinks so too.

Benrey fists both of their cocks and thrusts slowly into his hold, tentacles pulling at Gordon's cock a little each time Benrey rocks back. After a few rounds of that Gordon is starting to make his "fucked stupid" look and Benrey likes that, so he kisses him again. Kind of boring to only use one mouth when he can have as many as he wants… 

After checking that Gordon's eyes are closed - Gordon's after getting more chill with stuff but still doesn't like to _see_ it, as if that makes a difference - Benrey grows a second mouth to kiss and lick at Gordon's neck, and an extra arm to hold Gordon's head still. Gordon makes a confused little "mmph?" but doesn't stop kissing him or rocking into Benrey's grasp. Pure cumbrain at work, lmao. The hornier he gets the less he cares about how "weird" things are. Benrey fucking _loves_ that.

Get him horny enough and he all but begs for Benrey to stick tentacles in places. It's a fun little game: how horny does Benrey have to make Gordon before he breaks down and asks for that freaky shit? Benrey hasn't tried to speedrun it yet but he probs could. For now he sucks on Gordon's tongue and sucks a hickey into his neck at the same time. Another arm couldn't hurt. He uses it to squeeze Gordon's pecs and thumb at a nipple, making Gordon jolt and pant into the kiss. He's totally out of it and it's delicious.

Maybe he overdid it a bit. Benrey's tentacles squeeze around his cock and Gordon stops kissing him to take harsh breaths and buck up into his hand and come without warning. Benrey strokes him all the way through it, Gordon's cum mixing with his own slick. Gordon is still shuddering through his aftershocks when Benrey blows his load as well. 

Feels good. His tendrils all shudder and go rigid. His hand is painted in a mix of white and blue cum. Benrey lifts his hand to turn it this way and that, and he sniffs at it. Smells like both of them combined. Gordon sits up a bit more, and his eyes flutter open and then closed again.

"Too many mouths, Benny," he says softly. "Can't look at you."

"Wha…? Oh. Sorry." Benrey puts in a literal superhuman effort to pull the extra mouth back to being flat skin while still woozy from cumming. The things he does for, uh. His guy.

"You're okay. It felt nice. Just. Hard to look at."

"Fixed it."

"Thanks." Gordon peeks from one eye all wary and then opens both, a goofy smile spreading across his face. "Hey. On reflection, I’ve decided to forgive you for shoving me in here, because the sex was really good."

"Heyyy. Cool, cool." Benrey licks most of the mixture of cum off his hands and then puts his hand on Gordon's chest and wipes the rest off on him, along with Benrey's spit.

"What the hell, man?" Gordon frowns. "That's kind of gross."

"Smells good. Like both of us." Benrey can't mark him up with his teeth, not without hurting him for real, so this is the next best thing. Benrey rubs his hands against Gordon's skin a little more and doesn't miss the way Gordon breathes in through his nose, scenting Benrey when Benrey leans in to kiss his cheek. He doesn’t seem to notice, but Benrey does. Instinct’s hitting Gordon upside the head like a tennis racket and he has no idea. _Nice._

"If you say so. I'm washing off in the pool after this," Gordon says with a sigh. 

"Your choice, man," Benrey says, shrugging. Gordon looks him over and scrunches up his face like the idea of not washing off is ridiculous, before pulling himself out from underneath Benrey to go immerse himself in the pool of warm blue healing stuff.

Gordon scrubs at his chest with his fingers to clean off, checks the shredded remains of his t-shirt and shakes his head over the state of it before throwing it off to the edge of the pool. Benrey follows him and submerges himself up to his chin, watching Gordon and admiring his bare chest. That’s Benrey’s guy right there. Humans are squishy but that makes them nice to hold. Benrey sloshes his way over to Gordon and hugs him from behind. Soft. Squishy.

“What’s up, Benny?” 

“Nothin’ much. How about a cuddle? It’s like an uhhh…” Benrey makes a lip smacking noise. “Hot tub. Big warm bath. Bathtime cuddle.”

“Sounds good.” Gordon relaxes back into his hold, and lets Benrey move them to a spot where it’s shallow enough to sit down and pull Gordon onto his lap.

Benrey puts his chin on Gordon’s shoulder and hums, opening his mouth to let the Sweet Voice out so he doesn’t explode from having too many feelings. Not literally explode, yuck, but he'd get all the way stuck in his feels.

He sings out a clear stream of pink-purple in one long note, which like - that's not that surprising. Benrey has it so bad for Gordon it's not even funny, and his crush has only gotten bigger the last couple of months since they started dating.

What is surprising is Gordon watching the Sweet Voice float by, leaning back against Benrey, and letting out a small bubble of his own almost shyly. It's the same colour. Benrey adds some happy yellow - Gordon will understand that one - and squeezes him and nuzzles into his hair.

Gordon looks back and forth between Benrey's Sweet Voice and his own pink-purple one, and matches the identical colours, and Benrey can see the moment it clicks for him because he flushes a deep red. He covers his face with his hand briefly - awww, poor embarrassed lil Gordon - but then turns around in Benrey's hold and lays a soft kiss on his cheek. He doesn't say anything, but gives a small, tentative smile.

Benrey squeezes Gordon again, feeling like he's in a whole other dimension than the one he was a minute before. He can't help but turn his head and sing out a whole series more happy colours. It's all without words but doesn't need any, especially when Gordon hugs him back and hums another little bit of Sweet Voice, pink-purple again. Benrey grins and kisses him, slowly, not trying to get either of them worked up, just expressing how he feels.

They kiss slow and gentle, and when they stop, Gordon asks to sit and look at the sky for a while. Benrey nods, sits back and enjoys the warmth he's feeling inside and out, and hums and sings Sweet Voice occasionally to watch it float up and join the stardust.

-

It’s weird how you don’t notice how closely someone’s weaved into your daily life until your routine gets shaken up somehow. Or so Gordon thinks to himself the evening Benrey’s out for a midnight game release. Gordon doesn’t see the point - surely the game will still be there to buy tomorrow morning, surely it doesn't make sense to camp out for hours - but Benrey wanted to go, so Gordon’s home by himself. Somehow, ridiculously, Gordon is missing him already.

He's finished dinner, idly flicking through movies and shows to stream and eyeing up the hoodie Benrey has left thrown over the back of the couch. It looks soft and he bets it smells like Benrey. Which makes Gordon sound like a creep, but come on, he's Gordon's boyfriend, it's not weird for him to find his scent kind of comforting. Gordon picks up the hoodie with the faded PS logo and buries his face in it.

It really does smell like Benrey. Sugar and corn chips from his snacks as a topnote, a faint undertone of wet asphalt and ozone and somehow, weirdly, a hint of rum and cherries. His sense of smell is good enough now to pick it out. He nuzzles the fabric for a moment before starting to feel a bit self-conscious even though he's all by himself. He'd better just put it on so he's not acting like an over-enthusiastic sniffer dog.

Gordon slips it on over his shirt and almost instantly feels greater contentment. It’s soft and warm and really does smell like Benrey, that particular combination of scents that shouldn’t work well together but somehow do. He settles in to watch a few episodes of the Sopranos and then start winding down for the evening. Yes, it’s Friday, but no reason to stay up late pointlessly. At 27 years old he’s already started to feel like crap on anything less than 8 hours sleep.

He’s brushing his teeth later and considers taking off the hoodie before going to bed, but decides against it. Wearing it is nice. Relaxing. It’ll probably help him get to sleep easier. God knows when Benrey is going to get back. So that’s how Gordon ends up wearing Benrey’s well-worn hoodie all the way to bed, but at least he’s not hugging Benrey’s pillow or anything that he’d be mortified for Benrey to catch him doing. He’s right about sleeping easier with it on, anyway.

It’s full dark when he jolts back awake. There’s someone outside the entrance to the apartment. His stupid brain saw fit to beam the information about his sense of proximity to another living thing straight to his amygdala. That’s what he gets for having the senses of an alien predator mashed together with the stress responses of a highly evolved primate.

Who is it anyway? At this time of night? He has no way of telling. Could be anyone. Could be a thief about to break in. Gordon pulls himself out of bed and throws some pants on in a hurry and tries to remember where he put the baseball bat. Gordon is rooting in the bottom of his wardrobe when whoever-it-is starts moving through the apartment. Welp. He’s dead then. Didn’t even hear the intruder come in through the front door.

The person walks right through the door to the bedroom and it’s then Gordon’s sleep-stupid brain realises it’s Benrey. Of course it’s Benrey. Of course he didn’t hear the front door going. Nobody else can noclip.

“Aww, fuck. Didn’t mean to wake you, Gordo.” 

“Hey. I was ready to get murdered by a home intruder,” Gordon grumbles. He’s still shaking a bit but now he just feels tired and cranky.

“Sorry, big guy. Didn’t realise.” Benrey puts his carrier bag down on the floor and walks over to put a hand on his shoulder. Gordon leans into the touch heavily. “You get twitchy when you’re all home alone, huh.”

“Doesn’t help that I woke up knowing somebody was right outside.”

“Uh huh. Lie back on the bed. Benny’s gonna give you an apology BJ. I mean, if you wanna?” Benrey’s tone suggests he can’t imagine someone not wanting to, but he's giving Gordon the option to refuse.

“Yeah, alright. I guess it’ll make me feel better.” Gordon shrugs and takes his pants back off, and lies back on his side of the bed, head on the pillow. Maximum comfort. Benrey kicks off his shoes and crawls onto the bed after him.

“Yoooo, you’re wearing my hoodie! Was Gordon missing me? Lonely lil Gordon?” Benrey wheedles, running a few teasing claws up the side of Gordon’s leg.

“Gordon was lonely,” he confirms, his face growing hot. Benrey better not tease him or he’s getting thrown out of the bedroom for the night.

“That’s so _fucking_ cute,” Benrey says, and smushes his face into Gordon’s thighs, nuzzling him and leaving kisses. O-oh. “You’re the MVP of cute.” 

"That doesn't make any sense." Gordon feels himself blush even harder. With how much teasing Benrey does sometimes, Gordon tends to forget how he's legitimately _extremely_ gay for him. Gay and thirsty, if the way Benrey nudges Gordon's boxer shorts with his nose is any sort of indication.

"Stop bein' all contrary, 'm tryna compliment you. For being super fucking cute." Benrey kisses the outline of Gordon's cock in his underwear and looks up at him with big round pupils. Like all he wants in life is to be between Gordon's thighs. The thought hits Gordon at high speed and leaves him dizzy.

"You're not bad yourself," Gordon breathes. The way Benrey is carrying on, mouthing at Gordon's cock through his boxers and kneading at his thighs, Gordon is already starting to get hard. 

“That all?” Benrey pulls Gordon’s underwear down and starts kissing his half-hard dick and lapping at it with a long tongue. “‘M the most cute and you know it.”

"Sure." He's too focused on wanting his dick sucked to snark back.

"Weaksauce. Say I'm the most cute or, uh. Or I won't suck your cock."

Gordon could point out that Benrey has apparently forgotten he was _supposed_ to be doing it as an apology for scaring him half to death at 1am in the morning. Gordon's tired and horny and Benrey keeps stroking his dick lightly enough to tease, though, so…

"You're the cutest, Benny." 

Benrey kisses the head of his cock. "'S right, big guy." Then he opens his whole wickedly fanged maw and sinks his mouth all the way down to the base of Gordon's cock. Gordon can feel Benrey's tongue curl right around the shaft. He puts one hand on Benrey's head, stroking his hair, and lies back to lazily receive a blowjob.

Gordon lifts his head a little off the pillow to watch Benrey’s face. He used to do it because he was afraid of what those teeth might do by accident, but now he likes to see Benrey’s expressions. That absolutely blissful focus on sucking him off. Gordon’s dick twitches as much from watching Benrey enjoy a mouth full of cock as from the suction and wet warmth of Benrey’s mouth. He feels the tip of Benrey’s tongue glide over the head of his cock.

Benrey bobs his head up and down and sucks in his cheeks, and Gordon feels his orgasm roaring up like a wave about to crash. Benrey’s mastered making Gordon come down his throat in two minutes flat, probably call it speedrunning if Gordon asked. Feels extremely fucking good. It’s nearly too perfect, too much.

Gordon takes harsh breaths and arches his back, unable to hold back. His thoughts are all white noise and the feeling of fucking a warm willing mouth. Benrey pins his thighs down and keeps sucking, not stopping until Gordon goes limp and paws at Benrey’s head to push him away.

“Fuck, Benny.” Gordon flops back on the pillow. “You’re the best at that.”

“The best and the cutest,” Benrey says, flopping down next to him with a smug face.

“And the cutest.” Gordon turns his head to look Benrey over, his eyes tracking the movement of Benrey rubbing a hand against his crotch. Oh, yeah, that’s a hard-on. Gordon’s tired but he’s not _rude._ “Want me to help with that?” 

“Please? Please help Benrey thank you.”

Augh, the pleading is too cute. Now Gordon has to.

“Lie back for me. Good.” 

Benrey nods and mimics Gordon’s position from earlier, and pulls down his pants. What emerges is several shifting, glistening tentacles. They’re pearlescent and leaking blue at the tips. Sort of beautiful, really. Gordon shuffles unsteadily down to Benrey’s hips and twists his fingers in around Benrey’s tendrils. Or cocks, he supposes.

Benrey makes a high-pitched whine, and when he talks his voice wavers out of the usual bored monotone. “I was all nice to you, don’t tease me, man. Please suck my cocks please.”

“Wow, alright.” Gordon pats Benrey’s thigh comfortingly. He leans in close and rubs his cheek against some of the tentacles, like he’s a cat saying hi. His stubble probably feels strange against them, but Benrey doesn’t complain. They’re pretty up close, too, like some undersea creature.

Which is not something Gordon ever thought he’d be comparing a partner’s junk to, but he’s rolling with it. Appreciate what you’re given. Sometimes, very rarely, it’s tentacles.

Gordon opens his mouth and stretches out his tongue to run up along Benrey’s cocks. He can’t manage to curl it around and around several times the way Benrey does, but if he concentrates he can wrap his tongue once around. It feels strange when a few tendrils coil around in response, but in a good way, like a finger gently running across his tongue. Gordon lowers his head down until he can draw them in a bit.

Once they’re near a warm opening all the tentacles cram inside his mouth in one go. Gordon nearly chokes as one or two stretch towards his throat and he swallows on impulse. He hears Benrey whimper. At least _he_ enjoyed that. Gordon breathes steadily through his nose and starts to suck, furrowing his brow at how his jaw is being stretched open.

Individually each one is thin but all together they’re stuffing his mouth full. He’s still floaty from getting off earlier so it’s easier to relax his jaw and let Benrey use his mouth. Gordon's drooling heavily; he keeps having to swallow more liquid pooling in his mouth. Benrey is moaning near constantly now. Success for Gordon.

There’s not really much he _can_ do with a mouth full of tentacle cocks, so he sucks a little and swallows as best he can and watches his breathing. He looks up once or twice to see Benrey with a blue blush and wrecked expression complete with eyes rolled back. Right, Gordon, keep doing what you’re doing, it’s working.

All the warning Gordon gets is the tendrils squirming at once and going rigid, and Benrey whining out Gordon’s name, and then there’s cum pouring into his mouth, more than he can swallow. He tries, but it overflows his mouth and drips down. Well, the only casualty is Benrey’s sweatpants, so that’s fine.

Gordon swallows one last time and then pulls back, letting Benrey’s cocks fall out of his mouth. Ha, they’re all limp. Like seaweed or spaghetti or something. Cock spaghetti. Gordon can’t help his tired little giggle at that.

“Whuh?” Benrey is squinting at him in confusion.

“Cock spaghetti,” Gordon says. Benrey cracks up like Gordon hoped he would. 

Once he’s no longer near tears from laughing, Gordon crawls into bed and wriggles in close to spoon Benrey. He puts a hand over Benrey's waist and Benrey makes a happy little noise and presses back into his embrace. Gordon nuzzles at Benrey's hair and subtly breathes in his scent, melting in place at the familiar comfort of it along with the warm body in his arms.

-

Benrey wraps Gordon up in a warm blanket and a big hug, but it doesn't stop him shivering. He came down sick all of a sudden a couple of days ago, and there's only so much a wikihow article can explain in terms of looking after someone with a mystery illness.

Tommy texts Benrey back and his suggestions are more or less the same, along with a wish for Gordon to get well soon. Damn, he was sure Tommy would be able to help. He’s a lot smarter about human stuff than Benrey is. Welp, it’s soup time for Gordon before Benrey goes to work.

Gordon threatened to strangle him if he destroyed the kitchen (rude), so Benrey bought a lot of little microwave pots of soup instead. Gordon can complain all he likes about being sick of soup, all he’ll get is a different flavour. Benrey takes the plate with the pot of soup out of the microwave and brings it over to where Gordon is curled up on the couch watching How It’s Made.

“Eat.” Benrey lifts up a spoon and presses it to Gordon’s mouth.

“Mushroom again? You really don’t have to do this,” Gordon says, looking tired.

“C’mon, eat it. Don’t wanna make your boyfriend Benrey sad by passing out later.”

“I’m not going to pass out, I’m not that sick,” Gordon grumbles, but lets Benrey stick the spoon in his mouth. He takes the pot from Benrey and starts eating the rest by himself. Man does NOT like being spoonfed. Means Benrey can get him to eat like a big boy by threatening to spoonfeed him, so it works out.

“Keepin’ your energy up until I get back. Super mushroom.” 

Gordon stares sadly down at the soup.

“My supervisor is going to be on my case for all my late work when I get back. He’s a hardass.”

“Fuckin’ asshole.” Benrey thinks for a moment. “What if he had an accident, huh? Can’t get on your case then.”

Gordon blinks at him many times before replying. “What the fuck, Benrey? You can’t just - kill a guy! Or, or maim him or whatever. People don’t just regenerate like you do!”

“I mean if I tripped him down the stairs or somethin’...” 

“No. What the fuck? I thought you were big about rules and safety and shit, now you’re planning to injure my supervisor to make my job easier? An _accident?_ You’re the one who makes us wait for a crosswalk to cross the road!”

“Not planning. Was a suggestion. You’re more important than that guy anyway.” Why’s Gordon so upset? He hasn’t even done it, and he wasn’t going to like, kill the guy or anything. Just put him out of commission for a bit. Let Gordon catch up.

“Please don’t suggest anything like that ever again.”

“Aight.” Did he miss something? In games or movies or whatever, it’s cool and sexy to offer to beat someone up for being an asshole. Gordon’s supervisor _is_ an asshole. 

“Sometimes I don’t get you.”

“You don’t gotta. But you do gotta finish the soup before I go.”

Gordon frowns at him but spoons back the soup. Benrey chucks the plastic pot in the bin after, then comes back and leans over Gordon.

“Kiss for Benrey?” Benrey puts on his best puppydog expression.

Gordon sighs. “Don’t trip anyone down the stairs at work,” he says, but lays a kiss on Benrey’s cheek. “Seriously man, what the fuck.”

“Yeah, yeah. See you later, big guy. Don’t pass out while I’m gone.”

-

“Yo Sickman I’m hooooome,” Benrey calls out. Don't wanna spook him again. It's only fun when Gordon's not sick or sleeping. Right now his guy needs rest.

“Bennn. Reyyy.” Wow, Gordon sounds super bad, did he get sicker while Benrey was at work? There’s a pause and Gordon speaks again.

“Bennnnnrey.” There’s a gurgling noise from - where’s it from? The bathroom?

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”

What’s Gordon doing camping out in the bathroom making gurgling noises? Fucking weirdo.

Benrey kicks his work boots off next to the door. He’ll wait for Gordon to be done in the bathroom, give him some precious alone time. Nobody likes to be interrupted while having a piss. He’s about to sit down on the couch and boot up the PS4 when he hears another sound. Is that crying? The fuck?

_“Benrey. Help.”_

Benrey’s at the bathroom door so fast he doesn’t have time to wonder what Gordon needs help with. He takes in the scene inside the bathroom, and...

Aw, fuck. Yep, that would do it.

Gordon’s after going all The Thing all over the bathroom floor. Shit. A fuckload of eyes and mouths and way too many legs if he’s trying to look human. All the legs are going in different directions when he tries to stand and honestly it’s kind of sad to watch. Gordon lets out a sob from all of his mouths and Benrey flinches at the sound.

Benrey woulda stayed home if he thought Gordon would get his shapeshifting powers while he was out.

“It’s alright, big guy. I’m here.” Benrey steps into the room and holds his hands out placatingly.

“I’m not FUCKING alright!” Gordon shouts, kicking against the side of the bath and flailing uselessly. Then he starts crying again.

What the fuck is Benrey supposed to do now? He’s always been able to change his form however he wants. So where does he even start with calming Gordon down? If Gordon was one of his own kind - actually, he is now, but if he was _all along_ \- Benrey would stretch and curl right over and around him to comfort him. Doing that with Gordon would for sure make things way worse. What else?

“It’s okay, man. You can change back.”

“Change BACK? CHANGE BACK?” Gordon slaps a couple of very stretched out fingers against the ceiling. "HOW am I supposed to do THAT?”

"Calm down first, 'cos your form's going all unstable. Like, the more you panic the more like flesh jello you're gonna get."

"Fucking GREAT. Thanks Benrey! Exactly what I wanted to hear!" Part of him goes all spiky and one of the mouths wails out some jet-coloured Sweet Voice.

Now Gordon is upset _and_ big mad. Not great.

"Do some uhhhh, breathing exercises. Yeah."

"I don't even know where my lungs ARE. Or if I _have any._ "

"Work with me here, Gordo, I'm tryna help."

The pile of Gordon bits slumps against the ground and presses his most complete-looking face against the floor tile.

"Right. Fine. Not like it can make things any worse."

"Cool. We'll get you all, like, regular Gordon-shaped in no time." Benrey kneels down next to him and holds out his hands. "Take my hands bro. Let's get all gay."

Gordon sighs and grabs his hands with a bunch of appendages each, hauling himself "upright" again. "I'm not really in the mood, Benrey. I'm kind of a puddle of Gordon soup right now."

"Mm, Gordon soup," Benrey says, and gets several disgusted faces looking back at him in return. Still better than Gordon crying all over the place.

"Deep breaths. In, out. In. Out." Benrey watches Gordon inflate and deflate. They do it again a few times.

"This is useless. I'm going to be stuck like this forever." Some of Gordon's mouths let out frustrated and upset Sweet Voice.

Oh yeah, the Sweet Voice. Benrey forgot he had the Sweet Voice to use. Whoops. 

Benrey interrupts Gordon’s muffled sobbing by blowing blue Sweet Voice right in the face closest to him. Gordon’s expressions go through sad and startled and annoyed and then finally reach droopy-eyed and slightly drugged when the calming effect kicks in.

“Calm down kiss for Gordon?” Benrey offers.

“Huh? I, um, yeah, I think that’s okay. Can’t hurt.” 

Benrey leans in and catches a face to kiss, thinking his best calming thoughts and letting them bubble up as Sweet Voice. Gordon quivers and shakes and presses in around him, and the tremors gradually subside as Benrey pours calm into him. 

Benrey feels the limbs clutching at him go slack and drop away, and he pulls back to look around. 

Gordon is a literal relaxed blob on the floor, lol.

“Next step, think Gordon thoughts,” Benrey says. Self-explanatory, if you ask him.

“What?” 

“Think about being a science guy who loooves physics and has a bangin’ hot boyfriend.”

“Can you cut the horseshit for a second and explain, Benrey,” Gordon mumbles, but he sounds more tired than angry, so whatever.

“Wow, rude. Guess you have the idea.” Benrey pulls his phone out of his pocket and flicks through the photo album and picks a candid photo of Gordon looking chill and happy. Good photo. Maybe he’ll get it developed. He holds out the phone to show the screen. “See? You know what you look like. Think about that.”

Gordon takes the phone from him and stares at it hard, furrowing his brows. Benrey watches as he pulls extra limbs and eyes and mouths back into himself one by one, accompanied by the sound of cracking bones and of muscles tearing and healing in fast-forward, smoothing out and reforming into the familiar shape Benrey knows. 

“Good job, big guy.” Benrey ruffles his hair. Gordon throws his two arms around Benrey’s chest and cries silently. Benrey strokes his back. Oh, wait. “You missed an eye back there.”

“Shut up,” Gordon sobs. The eye shrivels and disappears.

Benrey sits on the bathroom floor and lets Gordon cling to him, and doesn’t joke about him being completely naked, no matter how much he wants to. Benrey good manners momence.

Benrey doesn’t ask, but Gordon starts talking.

“I felt better all of a sudden so I wanted to freshen up. Shower and then shave. I nicked myself shaving and the blood was all wrong. I mean. It was blue.” Gordon takes a shuddering breath. “I kind of panicked and then it felt like I was melting and every time I tried to make myself look right I fucked up more. It was gross and horrible and I sort of just spiralled from there.”

“Sounds pretty shit.”

“It was pretty fucking bad. You were at work for what felt like an eternity.”

“‘M sorry, man.”

"Not your fault I had the worst possible timing."

"Uh huh. Alien doctor Benrey prescribes hugging it out before he delivers a crash course in safe shapeshifting. I'm gonna pick you up now." He loops his arms under Gordon's legs and back and hauls him up in a bridal carry.

"I can walk by myself, bud." Gordon blushes in his arms, cheeks blue like Benrey's own. It's a good look on him, and Benrey swallows a little purr of satisfaction. Not the time for getting all horny over that (yet). Humans are hot, but it’s a whole deeper kind of hot to see Gordon is like him.

"No arguing with doctor Benrey." He sets Gordon down on the couch, picks up the blanket left there from earlier, and wraps Gordon up tight like a big burrito while Gordon protests. He settles down once he's getting cuddled. Leet Gordon hacks.

Benrey is going to need to take a few days off to teach Gordon everything he needs to know. Black Mesa will just have to deal with it. They can do all their stupid tests on Benrey when he gets back.

Yeah, Benrey lied a little before. Black Mesa higher ups aren't so completely stupid they don't notice aliens working there. Good thing he has Tommy to pull a few strings and make sure nothing about Gordon reaches anyone who could order him be hauled in for experimentation. Otherwise Benrey would have to stop playing along and show them all exactly how much damage an all-powerful shapeshifter can do. Gordon belongs to _him_ now, not to Black Mesa.

-

"I want to see you," Gordon blurts out, right after kissing Benrey.

"Whuh?" Benrey tilts his head. "'M right here."

"No, I mean… Augh, how do I put this?" He hadn't thought ahead to actually _explaining._ He’s been mulling it over for the past few days at home after Benrey badgered him into taking more sick leave to “show him the ropes”, but he put so much time into deciding whether he wanted to that he forgot he’d have to, you know, _tell Benrey_.

"I mean when we're fucking I always… Close my eyes if you're doing anything weird."

"Weird?"

"With the mouths and the extra limbs and the tentacles and the god knows what all over the place."

"Riiight. You can do that too, yanno. If you want." Benrey gives him a flat look. "Either it's not weird or you're weird."

"God, Benny, I wasn't trying to insult you."

Benrey chuckles. "I don't give a fuck, man, I'm messin' with ya."

"Oh. Hard to tell sometimes.” Gordon puts aside his annoyance. He’s not getting derailed. “I think it could help me get used to, you know, the idea. That I can, too."

"Mmhm. Bet you're totally horny for the full Benrey experience. Bet you're gagging for it."

"Well… Yes? I mean, that's part of it. Too." As embarrassing as it is to admit that he wants to fuck - or even make love to, if he’s being honest - what would be anyone else’s body horror nightmares, he does. It’s Benrey. He wants to be with him. And he hasn’t tried it like that yet. Curiosity killed the cat. Hopefully satisfaction will bring it back.

"Knew it. You little freak." Benrey kisses Gordon hard.

Jeez, why does that always get him so worked up? Benrey insulting him like that? Gordon shifts a little in place, and carefully nips at Benrey’s lip, not hard enough to break the skin. He tried switching back to blunt teeth, but he’s actually used to the sharp ones now.

“Wanna do it now?” 

“Not _right_ now. I’ll let you know. Let’s just… Make out a little.”

“Cool, cool.”

-

Gordon has Benrey pinned to the bed, one hand around each of his wrists while Benrey smirks up at him. They’re both naked. Neither of them is even trying to pretend the play wrestling they did moments before wasn’t a sex thing. Benrey cants his hips so their dicks rub off each other, and laughs when Gordon takes a sharp breath.

"Betcha couldn't pin me down in my true form, big guy," he goads.

"I bet I could."

"Oh yeah? Want the full Benrey experience right now?"

"And what if I do?" If that’s where this is going, then, yes. 

"I'll give it to ya. I know you want it baaaad but you're scaaaared. I'm makin' it easy."

“I’m not scared.”

“Not even if I do this?” Benrey stretches his jaw, and Gordon watches as it splits apart followed by the rest of his face, pulling apart right in the middle like taffy, then reforms into two heads. One looks like Benrey’s regular face. The other looks more like it’s been stretched into a muzzle by a bad sculptor, tongue lolling out in a constant grin.

“A bit grossed out, but not scared.” The fact that his hard-on didn’t soften any all through that display is, yeah. Yep. That’s it. That’s the confirmation that Benrey has cursed his dick.

“Haha niiiice.” Benrey’s pointed face tilts up and licks across Gordon’s jaw. “Gonna fuck me now?”

“That’s the plan.” He looks down and lines himself up to fuck Benrey ass. “Oh shit wait, what about prep?”

“I’m gonna go all alien monster on you and you’re worried about my asshole?” Both of Benrey’s faces wheeze out a laugh.

“Fuck offffff.” Gordon feels his face get hot. “It was a legitimate concern!” 

“And I legit want a dick in my ass right now.” Benrey wiggles his butt. “Don’t worry about it, you think I can grow fucking tentacles and not make my ass like a slip and slide?”

“Oh my god just shut up.”

One of Benrey’s arms divides in two at the elbow and the new hand Gordon isn’t pinning mimes a lip zipping motion. Gordon shakes his head. 

He pushes his dick into Benrey’s ass and blinks in surprise when it goes in smooth and easy. Benrey’s ass is… Textured? More like a high-grade Tenga stroker rather than anything else, but with little waves of cilia-like tendrils massaging his dick up and down. He stops there for a moment and just breathes, getting used to the unusual sensation. How’s he supposed to last?

Benrey’s watching his face with the most insufferably smug expression. Gordon hears an unpleasant ripping-squelching noise and a number of mystery limbs wrap around his legs and pull at his hips, urging him on.

“Who’s fucking who here, Benny?” Gordon shoves himself in more to prove the point.

“You gonna move or not?” Benrey rocks shamelessly down on Gordon’s dick.

“Maybe if you give me a chance,” Gordon growls. He starts thrusting in and out. See, Benrey?

“Fuck yes growl at me mooorrrrrre.” Benrey’s jaws hang open, and when Gordon thrusts again, Benrey’s eyes roll back. Benrey’s tentacle cocks writhe wildly against his stomach. 

“Oh, you like that do you?”

“Yesss. Don’t lie, bro. You do too. ‘Cos you’re, uh. Uhhh. That kind of freak.”

Gordon loses the rhythm he was only just starting settle into. “And if I - I am?”

“Want somethin’, you gotta - aaa ahh - ask for it,” Benrey groans, and clenches down on Gordon’s dick.

Gordon gasps and then growls at him again, presses his hands down on Benrey’s shoulders and digs his nails in, letting his nails lengthen into claws. “Benrey.”

“C’mooon, you can - you can do it, big guy.” Benrey’s arms grab at Gordon’s waist, pulling him down to press against Benrey. A few new arms wrap around Gordon's back. Benrey’s tentacles are wet against his lower stomach, and something else slick trails across Gordon’s chest and nipples.

“Can you.” Gordon takes a deep breath. “Can you call - call me a freak again? Benny?” Gordon can’t help the pleading note in his voice.

“Yeah. Yeah, I can, you freak." Benrey shoves himself down on Gordon's dick to meet his next thrusts, and he howls. "Don’t stooop Freakman.”

It’s so ridiculous and yet, Gordon still feels hot at the words.

“Fuck, _fuck_.” He’s close, he won’t last, not with the way Benrey’s hole is outright massaging his dick. He growls against Benrey’s throat, mostly to hear the way Benrey whines in reply.

One of Benrey’s mouths catches Gordon in a kiss, tongue twining with his. The other keeps panting in his ear.

“You’re a total, fuck. Fucking weirdo. Gagging for alien cock.” 

Gordon whines around the tongue in his mouth. Not being able to answer, it’s like he’s accepting it, and he _has_ accepted it, but it’s different to have it thrown back at him. Different, and a turn on in the way that a tsunami is a wave. Like he’s being swept away by it. All he can do is hold on and keep fucking Benrey.

“Thirsty, fffuck. Thirsty fucking freak. You wanted it so bad you’re, hhh,” Benrey shudders underneath him, and Gordon feels wetness spreading between their stomachs, “Ruined for anyone else. Wanted my dick that bad. I’m gonna give it to ya. Much as ya want. Whatever ya want, big guy.” 

Benrey takes his tongue out of Gordon’s mouth and licks along his neck instead. He leaves little teasing bites, then harder ones. Gordon shudders, and ruts against Benrey’s ass, panting, too overwhelmed to respond any other way.

“You wanted to be mine soooo bad. Had to. Make you into my, fuck, my perfect fucking _mate_. You dunno how hooot that is, Freakman.” 

That's it. That's exactly what he needed. Gordon comes inside Benrey with a whine. Benrey keeps rocking against him until he’s completely soft.

“Mine,” Benrey says, kissing along Gordon’s cheek.

“Yeah. Yours.” Gordon nods. He is. “You’re mine, too.”

“Lemme give you a lil, a lil something extra,” Benrey says right up against his ear. “For being my guy.”

“Your mate?” Gordon adds, too blissed out to blush over the phrasing.

“Yeah. My mate. Mine. Perfect.” Benrey licks the curve of his cheek.

Gordon feels the tendrils that engulfed his waist earlier pull his ass cheeks apart, and a wet length rubs against his hole. He nods, and it slides in, filling him up completely. It starts to thrust and he bucks forward against Benrey.

He tries kissing Benrey but it turns into a moan halfway as the length inside him rubs back and forth over his prostate. He settles for nosing at the base of Benrey’s neck, scenting him and kissing him. He’s starting to get hard again, which is good because he _has_ to fuck Benrey. Has to come inside him again. He’s running on instinct right now, and what his instincts are telling him is to fill Benrey right up.

Benrey seems to love it. He moans from two mouths - maybe three, when did that third one get there - as Gordon fucks him another time, outright drooling when Gordon speeds up to start pounding him. When Benrey starts begging Gordon to bite him, he doesn’t question it. Gordon digs his teeth in at the base of Benrey’s neck and draws blood, and mumbles a ‘mine’ out around the mouthful of neck. As far as he can tell Benrey comes at the exact moment he bites in, spilling cum between their stomachs again. It feels right somehow.

After that Gordon lets the length inside him set the pace and it utterly ploughs him until he’s a moaning mess. He glances back once to see what it is, and it looks like a kind of long tail of some kind, but dripping like one of Benrey’s cocks. It does a _really_ good job, rubbing against his insides perfectly with every thrust. Gordon comes inside Benrey from that as much as from fucking Benrey’s ass, twin sensations that get him to shudder and moan through a long drawn-out orgasm.

As Gordon lies on top of Benrey and the haze of lust gradually clears from his mind, he realises that as good as it was, it wasn’t enough. He wants  _ more _ . He wants the kind of completion he’s had dreams and nightmares about, and he knows Benrey can give it to him. All Gordon has to do is stop holding on so tight to what he knows of himself. If only he weren’t so afraid of forgetting how to turn back.

What if twisting and changing together with Benrey is too good? What if it doesn’t matter whether he knows the way back to himself? What if after he tries that,  _ he won’t even want to change back? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you've enjoyed this fic I'd love a comment.
> 
> There's an epilogue entirely for the purpose of weird alien body horror sex, which is called Completion and is the next work in the series on Ao3. It's finished now, and I posted it as a separate fic since it might not be to everyone's taste. I have lots of other ideas brewing now this series is done, so keep an eye out for those!
> 
> Edit: now there's lovely fanart of Gordon's Very Bad Time after nicking his face while shaving! [Have a look here](https://twitter.com/naughty_nog/status/1320508424627638277)! (Body horror warning of course.) Thank you Eggnog ToT


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